Success Warrior: The Blog That Embraces ADHD

Touching Senators from Alaska (TSA)

 
Is that a wand in your hand or are you just happy to see my breasts?

So,

I haven't mentioned my dear, dear friends at TSA in a while and probably wouldn't have in a long, long time but they have made a bunch of headlines in the last couple of days.  They must want the attention and I'm always happy to help bring attention to the TSA.

Cuz you're tight?

Well, they have seen my junk.

That's pretty tight.

Right?

An Alaska lawmaker gets felt up every time she flies because she only has one boob.  I suppose the TSA has to check to make sure that the prosthetic breast she wears to balance things out isn't a bomb. 

Does it have more than 3 ounces of liquid?

Maybe she needs to carry the fake boob in a plastic bag?

This last time the TSA tried to give her a sensual massage with a happy ending, she said no and spent two days on a ferry getting home.  There is a huge problem with Alaska.

It's where Sarah Palin comes from.

Okay, there are two huge problems with Alaska.

You don't travel to or from Alaska without flying.  Alaska lawmakers said the TSA is out of control but didn't come up with any answers for dealing with DHS date rape.  They passed a non-binding resolution officially bitching about the TSA, which is a bold move.

A restaurant near the Sea-Tac airport has come up with an answer.  They no longer allow TSA employees in the restaurant.  They won't serve TSA workers and tell them to leave and have even called the police to have TSA employees removed.  This is, of course, the wrong approach.

Sounds cool to me.

Listen to my idea first.

They should allow TSA workers to eat at the restaurant, after they have been completely felt up and allowed a picture of themselves to be taken in their underwear.

Okay, I like your idea better.

Toldja!

A Charlotte teen-ager was able to get out onto the tarmac of the airport and climb into the wheel-well of an airplane and fly to Boston.  This has some people wondering what the hell the TSA is doing when it comes to providing security.

They were all gathered 'round the monitor looking at nekkid people.

Probably.

Unfortunately for the teen, he pulled a move from a Nicolas Cage movie and fell from the sky when the plane put its gear down to land in Boston.  The family would like the TSA to explain how something like this happens.  The TSA is meeting today at 2:30 to try to figure out what kind of bullshit story it can come up with to explain how a teen-ager can get through security designed to stop highly trained terrorist cells from blowing up planes with prosthetic boobs.

Meanwhile, an undercover chick with nice milk cartons was able to get a firearm past the TSA several times at the Dallas/Fort Worth airport.

Can't they shorten that down like Sea-Tac?

To what?  Da-Rth?

You can't get a fake boob through TSA security but if you're a chick with two boobs, you can take a Desert Eagle 50 Cal. tucked in your G-string and be just fine.  Okay, I don't know what kind of gun it was but it was hidden in her underwear.  Now call me a cynic but . . .

I have better things to call you.

Shut it!

. . . It seems like a great story to leak out to try to convince people to allow the TSA to take pictures of their private parts.

Like they weren't taking the pictures already.

I know, I know.

At JFK, a TSA employee screener threatened to bash in some dude's head with a baseball bat.

For not allowing a hand job?

You're not helpful.

A Texas Airlines employee was backing up in the parking lot and nicked the TSA employee's car.  This is apparently enough to make assault with a baseball bat a reasonable and necessary use of force.  Of course, when you're part of the Department of Homeland Security, there is probably a tad bit of Judge Dreadd running through your veins.

Loved Rob Schneider in that movie.

You are the Rob Schneider of this blog.

Also at JFK, three TSA employees in two separate cases have been arrested for stealing money from passengers' luggage.  One dude stole tens of thousands of dollars in one go.

Like that wouldn't be missed.

Ya think.

The other two have been siphoning money off for years.  Cops have been able to come up with about 40 grand of stolen money and suspect that over the years, the two have broken six figures.

Remind me not to go to JFK.

Shah.

Even if you do catch the guy stealing your money, he'll probably try to bash your brains in with a Louisville Slugger.

"Aviation Security Expert Justin Green thinks incidents like these raise questions about the integrity of the airport security system."

Really Aviation Security EXPERT Green?  This is what raises the questions?  None of the headlines above this raises any questions?  Nothing mentioned in my previous blog post (Warning: It was written when I was way more serious) kind of, sort of, in some little way, sets off some kind of red flag in your expert brain?

Stealing a few hundred bucks a day is the trick?  Feeling up the elderly, strip searching children, teen-agers falling from the sky, downloading naked pictures of passengers, easily getting a gun through check points, and threatening to kill people with baseball bats are all perfectly acceptable behavior for TSA agents that don't raise any concerns about their integrity?

They probably didn't give Expert Green his cut.

That explains it.

All of these headlines are from the last two days and you know that only a small percentage of the criminals at the TSA get caught and only a few of those make the headlines.  Can you even imagine what TSA employees are out there doing every single day? 

Expert Green can't.

Maybe he's an expert at wearing blinders.

Or covering up the wrong doings.

Or a complete smacktard.

But, if you're ever lonely on a Friday night and can't get a date from eHarmony, you could always get a boarding pass and walk through the security check point a few times.  Don't count on dinner though.

Especially near Sea-Tac.

So true.

Road Trip

Trans-Siberian Orchestra was absolutely amazing.  They always are but they always seem to find a way to top their last show.  This time was no exception.  This the sixth time that Tia and I have gone to see them and each time we leave, we vow to return.  Trey will be going with us next year.  We haven't taken him because the show is a bit over the top with noise, lights, fire, and fireworks.  This year was the first year that he really enjoyed the 4th of July and that celebration is timid compared to a TSO concert.

"It's called vacation.  You're supposed to sleep in," my wife said to me this morning.  I woke up at 5 as usual.  No need for alarm clocks for me, thankyouverymuch.  I actually did lay there until 5:45 pretending that I was sleeping in but it was eventually too much for me.

Hotels can certainly be a challenge for people where their natural schedules don't match.  Trey and I are morning people and Tia is a night owl.  It's hard to do anything without interfering with the sleep of the other.  I managed to be quiet enough to let Tia sleep until Trey woke up.  He must have been tired because he slept until 7.  Once he's up, the silence is broken.

Time to starting packing up.  More later . . .

And that's how my post started that was supposed to be completed that night.

That night, we stayed in a small motel that was apparently built before there was electricity.  There was one plug in the place that had a powerstrip attached to it to run the small fridge and small TV.  My wife sat on the bed to use her laptop to take a test for college.  I am not a laptop person, when it is literal.  I am barely a laptop person when I can put the laptop on a table. 

The room did have a table but there were no plugs anywhere near the table.  No chair either but I moved a chair over there (before I figured out that there was no electricity anywhere except in the immediate vicinity of the TV).  The power cord for the laptop wasn't long enough to reach so I bagged it and planned on catching up the next day where there would be tables, chairs, and electrical outlets.

The place we were staying did indeed have all of those things in good supply.

However, what I didn't have was any cell service so I couldn't connect to the Internet.  I shouldn't say that there wasn't any cell service.  What everyone found out was that if you went up to the second floor and leaned against the doors that opened onto the balcony and raised your left hand in the air and crossed the fingers of the hand holding your phone and said a quick prayer and waited until you saw the moon crest the horizon, you could get half a bar of service for 30 to 60 seconds. 

I also found a spot outside on the east side of the house in the snow where it was 20 degrees where I could maintain cell coverage for quite a while longer (but not connect to the 3G network) so I was able to make one important phone call while freezing my royal rastafarian nay-nays off.

None of this is to complain though but only to explain why there was a lapse in this blog.  The trip was absolutely wonderful and it was unfortunate that we had to cut it short because of the blizzard warning.

Now, I'm back, unpacked, and headed back toward my groove (after Thanksgiving/my birthday).

Here are a couple of pictures that I took from our balcony.

 
 
There was no snow when we arrived.  That night, the skies opened up and it showed hard for the entire night.  It was still snowing hard when I took these pictures but the camera wasn't able to really do it justice.

Random Bits on Vacation

It was a bit of a drive yesterday but nothing too terrible.  I have found that driving is one of the "activities" that is hardest on my injury so while 6 hours in a car seems like a simple thing, right now in my life it's not fun.

We got up here in time to do a bit of visiting and relaxing and stretching out from the car trip.  I laid on the couch for a couple of hours while people watched a movie and just tried to relax.  Then I went to bed and slept, and slept, and slept, and holy cow, I haven't slept like that in a long time.  I don't know if it was the mental relaxation of being a vacation or just the cool air coming in the window (it was down in the 30's last night) but I just kept on sleeping.  I think I must have gotten about 11 hours of sleep.  I usually sleep for about 6 hours a night so you can see how huge this was.

Today, when I finally got up and moving around, we went out for lunch.  For this trip, I thought I would try out an app called FourSquare a try.  It gives you an easy way to "check in" where you are and then sends that info out to Twitter and Facebook.  Now that I type this, I suppose that since all my Twitter stuff goes to Facebook, I'm probably hitting Facebook twice with my FourSquare stuff.  Oh well. 

Anyway, all you do is open the app and it finds where you are by GPS and then gives you a choice of "gathering places" to choose from.  You click on one and you can type in a bit about what's going on and then hit send and you're checked in.

So, we went to lunch at Timber's Edge Restaurant, which I would consider a social gather place since there were plenty of people gathered around socializing.  I opened FourSquare and scrolled through the list.  Timber's Edge was not listed.  However, the Island Park landfill is listed. 

I wanted to put my karate class into FourSquare but it's apparently not a "social gathering place".  FourSquare is going to let me put it in sometime in the future.  Landfills, on the other hand, are apparently social hotspots.  Who would've known?  I know I'm not a very social person but how did I miss this movement of people hanging out in landfills and tweeting about it?

This afternoon, we went floating down the Snake River in a fishing boat.  Just a lazy meander down the river for something to do, especially for Trey.  It was fun and it was one of those moments that once again drove home to me just how impressive technology has gotten.  Up until a few years ago, cell phone coverage was pretty spotty up here for us.  Today, we were floating down the river and I was taking pictures with my Droid and then sending those pictures off on a cyber journey where they would almost immediately show up on Twitter and Facebook. 

Truly impressive (and if you'd like to follow along with my journeys, join me on Twitter or Facebook).

It was chilly this morning and I was going to be in the water so I thought I would try out my VFF Flows.  The Classics are my faves, no doubt but I thought the Flows would stay on better if I ended up in the river and they would keep me warm.  I was correct on all accounts.  I was in charge of getting the boat into and out of the water and the Flows stayed in place and kept my feet nice and warm. 

They were much easier to put on to compared to last year.  I think that it's probably because I have been wearing VFFs all summer.  I think my toes are getting used to spreading out to go into the VFFs.  It made it so much better for my mindset than last winter when it seemed like a struggle to get them on.  I now have a new motivation for my next job.  It should be a job that allows me to wear VFFs so that I don't have to jam my feet into shoes because of some dress code.  =)

Tonight, I believe we have another lazy night of visiting and I have promised Trey that I would play a game with him.  He has found a stash of games that we don't have at home so we'll be trying something called Pictureka tonight.  We'll see if we can talk some other people into joining in with us.

Tomorrow, I believe we'll be heading into Yellowstone for a while because Trey wants to go back.  I'll be taking plenty of pictures, some posted live from the Droid and many more to posted to Facebook when I'm back on my own computer.

Stay tuned.

Breaking the Blog Fast

Lucy!  You got some 'splaining to do.

For those that don't know, exercise is a major foundation of my life.  Even before I was blogging about it full-time, it was a cornerstone to my day. 

A little over a month ago, something went wrong with my back.  Still don't know what it is/was.  The doctor was supposed to call me this week but he didn't.  I sat in an MRI tube for 90 minutes a couple of weeks ago to get to the bottom of it all.  Meditation is a life-saver when you're trapped in the tube for that long.

About 3 weeks ago, it got bad enough that the doctor said to stop all exercise and karate, and that's when I dropped out of the blogging scene.  Not because I don't have stuff to talk about without exercise but just because it tipped my world upside down.

My world isn't completely righted but I feel that it's time that I start putting things back in order.

I just returned from my trip to Cedar Point so I'm going to have some pics and comments about that coming up.  I am still trying to do the basic recovery from the trip.  Putting stuff away, doing laundry, downloading pics and video, and trying to catch up on a week of being gone.

I actually read a fictional book on my trip, Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews.  A book about a mercenary in a world where magic has returned and where it comes and goes in waves.  The hero has to try to solve the murder of her guardian.  I have mixed feelings about the book but enjoyed it none the less.  It was a great book for a vacation.  As with all my books, I'll send it on to anyone that wants it.

Here's a pic to get things started.  The whole reason for my trip to Sandusky, Ohio.  The left pic is my going 120 mph on the launch, which is absolutely amazing and hard to put into words.  It's like taking a ride on a huge wrist-rocket.  The pick on the right is me going about 120 mph at the bottom of a 45 story drop at 90 degrees with a 270 degree twist thrown in for good measure.

Sandusky, OH?

Last Christmas, my brother and his family were out here and we had a get-together at my parents house.  We played games all afternoon and the TV was on some channel that was doing a marathon.  I don't know the show but it was all about thrill rides and the show played all afternoon.  We looked up every once in a while to see what was going on.  We'd see one and someone would say, "We should go there."  It went like all afternoon until we saw this one:

"We *really* should go there," someone said.  We talked about going in the spring sometime before school lets out so that maybe the lines would be shorter. 

My brother went home, did a bit of research, and then emailed my other brother, sister, and me.  He wanted to know a more specific date.  The park was actually open for a few days in March.  "What's the temperature in March?" I asked.  "About 40 degrees."

This roller coaster gets up to about 120 mph in that little short stretch (and then climbs 45 stories - and pretty much freefalls back down those 45 stories).  So, I'm thinking 40 degrees with 120 mph wind chill factor.

No thanks.

What's the latest we can go before school lets out.  Last week of May.  What's the temperature.  About 70 degrees.

That I can do.

So, two weeks from today, I'll be on a plane to Cleveland. 

***

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