Success Warrior: The Blog That Embraces ADHD

What Do Obama, Taco Bell, Underage Hookers, Ben Bernanke, and This Morning's Workout Have In Common?

 
So,

The Great and Powerful Oz finds himself between a rock and hard place with Egypt and, so far, is finding that his words aren't working this time (which has to be a little sucker punch to his great and powerful ego).  By all accounts, Mubarak is done.  It's just a matter of time before he's killed or flees the country to escape.  The US government has supported the dictator for 30 years and it's all unraveling now.

"The United States gives some $1.3 billion in military aid to Egypt every year, along with $200 million in economic aid. But the aid is viewed by many Egyptians with mixed feelings, seeing it as a tool to keep their government subservient to American foreign policy . . ."

Obama has asked the Egyptians to talk with Mubarak to find a resolution that won't change the US government's control over the country. 

Really?

Yes. 

There isn't going to be any talking but Obama has to try.  The US government doesn't want to lose their bitch the close ally they have spent billions of dollars bribing to be their bitch secure a strategic foothold in the middle east.  They can't come out in actual support of Mubarak though because from the start, it didn't look good for him and they don't want to alienate the government that takes over (which will already likely be somewhat anti-US government, at the very least - though they might be susceptible to bribery too).

"America is worried about instability in Egypt, so they'll try find a new leader they like and anoint him to work for their interests," said Muslim preacher Ahmad Abdullah, 40, who was sleeping in Tahrir Square.

"They will keep stepping on our heads," he said.

It's quite the tightrope to walk, trying to keep your bitch such a strong supporter in power against the will of an entire country.  Obama is trying to use mere words to get the Egyptian people to agree to allow him to keep stepping on their heads.

Good luck with that!

Speaking of a lack of substance, did you see the story on Taco Bell a few days ago?  This may come as a bit of shock for many people but it seems that there isn't enough beef in the, uh, stuff (you were gonna say "shit," weren't you?) that Taco Bell puts in its tacos to legally call it beef. 

No way!

Way!

It's got something like 35% beef and the rest is binders, fillers, some oat-based stuff (wtf), plus, you know, water and spices. 

I knew my readers wouldn't be shocked by this but I thought I would pass it on.  You wanna know what is shocking?  Searching for pictures of tacos online for this blog.  Yikes!  I'm not going to post the more disturbing pics but I'll share this one with you to give you an idea of what it was like (You guys owe me big-time for the pics that end up on this blog, btw):

 
Speaking of women's nether-regions, did you know the Superbowl was a chick magnet?  Pimps from all over the country (as far away as Hawaii) bring their prostitutes to town, many of them underage, hoping to cash in on horny guys with money to spend.  Do you think they have to get a temporary business license from the city?  Could be a source of revenue for cash strapped governments that are too corrupt to execute a proper budget (plus the politicians can probably work a deal at the same time to get their underage hookers at a reduced fee).  The story I read tells about how these pimps beat the snot out of teenagers to get them to comply and bring in the money.

Speaking of guys with no morales, anyone heard from my good friend Ben Bernanke lately?  Ron Paul who is an ob/gyn was going to be sticking a speculum into the Fed's books to see what was going on.  I heard quite a bit about this after the election but haven't heard anything lately.  Anyone know what's up?

Last time Paul threatened to do this, he didn't have power to do it and Bernanke said he would destroy the economy in retaliation.  Wonder if Egypt might give Bernanke a moment's pause.  Sure, he could contract the money supply and destroy this limping economic monster that he's got going now but what would happen if another 30 million people lost their jobs?

Burn political headquarters and cut the heads off mummies?

Wrong country but probably something close.

The most dangerous people are the ones with nothing left to lose.

Anyway, if you hear something, let me know.

Here's something that might help Ron Paul with his investigation:

 

Is that a mangina?

Speaking of things that make you want to hurl, this morning's workout was tough.  I did four different plyometric exercises, all done in Tabata intervals.  My legs were rubber and my lungs were on fire (like Obama's world empire but without killing anyone).  You wouldn't think it would be that hard to do something for 20 seconds, 8 times but holy crap!  You ever want to push yourself?  I strongly suggest giving Tabatas a try with some full body moves.  If you haven't tried it before, I think you'll be surprised.

I'm going to talk to my muscles and ask them to get stronger?

Good luck with that!

 

***

Follow me on Twitter to get updates on when new posts show up on this blog (plus get random thoughts on the life of Success Warrior) and feel free to "friend" me on Facebook.

Success Warrior is an Independent BeachBody Coach for BeachBody.com, a company that offers fitness programs, supplements, and equipment that have absolutely changed my life. 

Have you heard of P90X?  That's BeachBody.  They also have Insanity, Turbo Jam, TurboFire, RevAbs, Brazil Butt Lift, and many more.  They have some of the best exercise programs on the market.  These aren't just DVDs but are complete programs to transform your body.  They also have the hugely popular, and what they call "the most important meal of the day", Shakeology.  Go HERE to learn the most inexpensive way to get Shakeology.

They have equipment and supplements in addition to Shakeology and popular exercise programs.  Visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Shop" link to see everything they offer. 

There is also a business side to all this fitness that you can take advantage of.  Whether you're looking to just make a couple hundred extra dollars in fun money or are looking to take complete financial control of your life, BeachBody can help you get there.  If you have a desire to be more fit and would love to help other people do the same while making some money at it, visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Coach" link.  Team up with me and I'll help you reach your goals, in fitness and finance.

7th Day; 7 Words

 
Being pro-government is prerequisite to being anti-government?

"Before this week, few thought a mass anti-government movement was possible in Egypt, a country that has little experience with democracy. But after Friday's protests, the campaign to oust Mubarak only seems to be gathering strength." - Griff Witte

Leave your seven words in the comments.

Saturday Video - Egypt

 My guess?

The US government is going to have to try to figure out how to set up a new puppet government in a world that is sick-to-death of US controlled puppet governments.

Sarah Palin Makes a Funny?

 
So,

Apparently, Sarah Palin has a Facebook where 2.7 million people "like" her.  Amazing.  That's actually more amazing than Charlie Sheen being the top TV earner in America.  Who knew that there were that many people that had missed their last few doses of clozapine?

But that's not the point.

Who ever writes for Sarah Palin's Facebook page made a funny and then went on and on about how The Great and Powerful Oz was talking out of his ass during the State of the Union address.  Ya think?

Anyway,

Unknown to me at the time I was writing yesterday's blog post, the President titled his State of the Foundering Union address, "Winning the Future," which Palin's writer noticed had the acronym of WTF.

Brilliant!

You might have noticed that if you would have actually watched the damn thing.

Shut it!

And, since I'm here writing a blog entry, I'll just add one more thing before I turn my attention to my homework where it should be.

WikiLeaks has been popular enough that there are going to be many more sites opening up that do the same thing.  First up is a former WikiLeaks spokesperson, Daniel Domscheit-Berg, creating a site called OpenLeaks.  The site is supposed to be quicker to get information out and shift the responsibility of the released information on to who ever releases it.  OpenLeaks will be more of a warehouse of information where whistleblowers can submit information and media sources can retrieve it and OpenLeaks won't actually publish the information itself.

The hope is to keep WWJD Republicans and peace-loving Democrats (who abhor even talk of violence) from calling for the assassination of Domscheit-Berg like they did with Assange. 

I heart the Internets.

It's changing the world.

Bouncing Through The Headlines

 
So,

It's been a while since I've gone bouncing through the headlines just to see what's out there.  Let's see what we have, shall we?

Apparently, the president gave a State of the Union address recently.  People are still talking about it.  I didn't watch for two reasons:

A.  I'm sure all I would have heard is, "blah, blah, blah, blah, America is great, blah, blah."
B.  I get tired of all of the clapping.  First, what they say isn't really that cool.  Second, it's just empty words.  Third, it's like a 5-minute speech with 25 minutes of clapping.  I've got better things to do than listen to clapping, like write this blog.

Geoffrey Anderson of the Huffington Post says that what I missed out on was The Great and Powerful Oz outlining something called, "Smart Growth."  This smart growth is the next greatest thing since Sputnik and it's going to mean rainbows and butterflies for everyone. 

It sounds a lot like spot reducing for 6-pack abs.  You do 500 sit ups a day but continue to double-fist deep fried twinkies washed down with mega-super-supreme Big Gulps of Dr. Pepper ("Would you like to up-size that for $.25"?) but by targeting the abs like this, you'll be on the cover of a fitness magazine in no time.  Promise.

Speaking of deep fried twinkies, Social Security is going to tank by at least $600 billion over the next ten years.  Geoffrey didn't mention how smart growth was going to offset this but I'm sure that it will.  My smart phone can make phone calls and works as a GPS (Hi, Jane honey), so smart growth can probably create jobs out of thin air and magically undo foolhardy budgetary problems that everyone is afraid to address.  Until someone starts talking about how to stop funding entitlement programs and world domination, Obama can do all the smart sit ups that he wants.  Ain't no way his budget or economy is getting six pack abs.

The Republicans are actually talking about Medicare because smart growth is only going to go so far ("so far" being a code word for "nowhere" but anyway . . .).  Their idea is to go to a voucher program where they give seniors a fixed amount and then the seniors can spend that fixed amount each month in the private market for insurance.  This will obviously save money because seniors will start dropping like flies as health costs, driven up by government interference, quickly become unaffordable for everyone holding a voucher.  By setting a fixed amount instead of covering actual healthcare, it saves money on the front end, and by reducing the number of seniors by letting them die off, even more money will be saved on the back end.  This plan will actually save boatloads of money.

I suspect this idea will die somewhere along the trip toward becoming a bill.  Letting seniors die off is not politically correct, after all.

Speaking of not politically correct, the Touching Sex-parts Agency made the news again.  It seems that a TSA employee took home over 1,000 knives, corkscrews, nail clippers, and other items that had been seized from dangerous old ladies with long fingernails (who will then be screwed if they get an ingrown nail while on the voucher system). 

They don't say why the guy stole all the items.  Maybe he was starting his own eBay store as part of the Smart Growth plan.  By stealing his inventory, he greatly reduces his overhead.  That's smart.

The officer was suspended without pay for 10 days.

You know?  My department is in charge of taking care of all the lost and found property that is left behind by guests.  It turns out to be quite a bit of stuff.  Anyway, I've fired officers for stealing one set of $2.00 cheap-o, from a C-store, pair of reading glasses.  If you're going to risk your job for $2.00, I can't trust you and you're gone.

Do you trust TSA workers that don't steal?

Good point.  A 10-day handslap, it is.  Moving on.

Here's something that you don't hear everyday (as opposed to "The TSA is unethical" which could be an hourly thing if you wanted), scientists believe that oral sex may lead to tonsil cancer. 

Can political interns get on a voucher system for cancer insurance?

Apparently, the human papillomavirus (or HPV to we scientists - What?  I study oral sex) can be transmitted by having oral sex but not by french kissing, which makes me doubt that the scientists know what they are talking about.  Well, that, and this statement:

". . . said Hartig. 'I don't know why they're having more oral sex . . ."

Someone, please give Scientist Hartig a blow job so he understands why people are having more oral sex.

Do blow jobs cause Smart Growth?

Hey, not in the news but in my inbox, the word of the day from Dictionary.com was Jobbery - the conduct of public or official business for the sake of improper private gain.

So, you're saying that a politician getting oral sex from an intern is getting a Blow Jobbery?

And, I suppose I should end for the night (yes, please end for the night - Shut up!) by pointing out that Charlie Sheen was hospitalized.  I don't know why and I don't care but I did learn something new.  Charlie Sheen is America's highest paid TV actor.  Is it just me or does that seem extremely weird?  I've never seen his show.  Have any of you seen his show?  Is it worth the price?

Okay, I had to know so I went back to read the article.  Sheen was apparently hospitalized because he was laughing so hard that he aggravated a hernia.

He must read your blog.

I may have to put up a disclaimer:

"Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that reading this blog may lead to the aggravation of an existing hernia but has also determined that it does not transmit HPV (unless you lick your monitor while this blog is open in your browser)."

***

Follow me on Twitter to get updates on when new posts show up on this blog (plus get random thoughts on the life of Success Warrior) and feel free to "friend" me on Facebook.

Success Warrior is an Independent BeachBody Coach for BeachBody.com, a company that offers fitness programs, supplements, and equipment that have absolutely changed my life. 

Have you heard of P90X?  That's BeachBody.  They also have Insanity, Turbo Jam, TurboFire, RevAbs, Brazil Butt Lift, and many more.  They have some of the best exercise programs on the market.  These aren't just DVDs but are complete programs to transform your body.  They also have the hugely popular, and what they call "the most important meal of the day", Shakeology.  Go HERE to learn the most inexpensive way to get Shakeology.

They have equipment and supplements in addition to Shakeology and popular exercise programs.  Visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Shop" link to see everything they offer. 

There is also a business side to all this fitness that you can take advantage of.  Whether you're looking to just make a couple hundred extra dollars in fun money or are looking to take complete financial control of your life, BeachBody can help you get there.  If you have a desire to be more fit and would love to help other people do the same while making some money at it, visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Coach" link.  Team up with me and I'll help you reach your goals, in fitness and finance.

Cruising With Jane

 
So,

Alex, Ellie, Jane, and I had some errands to run in and around Salt Lake City today and . . .

Uh, SW, who's Jane?

Oh.  Jane is the know-it-all navigator that lives in my Droid.  She made the day's various trips so much easier although she can be a bit of a nag at times.  If it was 10 or 20 years ago, I wouldn't have needed Jane for this trip but times are changing.  Not always for the better.

For example, while you may think that Mormons have a lot of weird things going on (and you would be right), one thing that they did do perfect is planning and naming their streets.  Dang fereigners complain but it really was simple.  The streets were in square blocks and every street name was a number, based on the compass directions.  You want to go to 200 South 1000 West, you drive south for 2 blocks and then drive west for 10 blocks and you're there. 

Easy peasy . . . you know the rest.

I remember needing to carry around the A to Zed in London because you actually had to know where each and every street was in order to get there.  You want to know where Roslyn Hill is?  Look it up because there is nothing else that's going to help you.  All the taxis have A to Zeds because there's about a million streets.

But I digress . . . as is the norm around here.

Now that the heathens have moved in (Salt Lake City is only 70% Mormon now, down from 120% - you have to factor in the birth rate), they have started creating streets that squiggle all over the map and have gone away from naming them practical names like East, West, North, and South.  Now they have names like Maplewood Lane, Sacajawea Circle, and JosephSmithWuzzaPedophile Avenue. 

I don't get it.

Well, you see, Joseph Smith ran a "home for girls" for teenage girls and then he would go to their rooms at night and schtoop them because god told him to.

You know you're mixing Jewish words with Mormon stuff, right?

Is there some grammar rule against mixed religifors?

Religifors?  You're just making shit up now.

Whatever.  Get on with your story.

Fine.  The first stop was one of those places that no longer has a common sense name, 420 BrighamYoungWuzzaMisogynisticManwhore Drive.  No clue.

Well, you see, Brigham Young had something like 16 wives so that there was always some fresh . . .

No clue where this address might be.

Oh.

"Jane, can you help me out here?"

"Take the next exit."

I take the next exit and get into the right lane because there really isn't a whole lot to the north of the freeway where I'm at.

"At the next intersection, turn left."

"Are you sure Jane?  There's nothing up there."

"Hmmm, let me think.  My multimillion dollar brain plus Google software plus a hundred satellites around your planet versus your chimpanzee brain - - - Turn left!"

"Sheeesh!  What's up your USB?  What?  Tom Tom not put out last night?"

"Mind your own damn business and put the car in the left lane."

I signaled (I know, weird, right?) and got into the left lane.  I didn't say anything else to Jane, thinking it was best to just follow along with the mood she was in.  Of course, three minutes later, I'm "at my destination".  Just to rub it in, Jane pops up a picture of the destination, like, "I told you so - say hi to Bonzo for me when you get back to the zoo."

 We take care of our business there, which is a whole 'nuther story for another blog post because I paid someone $7.00 to change one letter on a government form.  You have to love the government's fair and reliable services, don't you?

We get back in the car and the next stop is actually an old-school address that I could find with a blindfold on but I decide to give Jane a try just to see how she would handle it.  I pull up to the road from the parking lot, ready to turn left because that's the way we came in to this area.

"<Sigh> Turn right."

"Are you sure Jane?  We came in from that way.  Don't we need to get back to the freeway?"

"And I thought bananas were brain food.  Turn right."

I turned right and within 45 seconds, it became obvious that Jane had chosen a shortcut.  What Jane didn't know though is that the government was in the middle of upgrading some fair and reliable services, in their usual fashion.  The road that Jane put us on was under construction but not construction like I've ever seen before, perhaps because I have never seen a job planned by a foreman dropping acid. 

There were three lanes for traffic heading in the direction we wanted to go, plus the suicide lane.  On the block where we turned on to the road, the right two lanes were blocked.  On the next lane, all three lanes were blocked and we drove down the suicide lane.  On the next block, the suicide lane, the left lane, and the right lane were blocked so we drove down the middle lane. 

"What the hell, Jane?"

She didn't say anything.  In the meantime, I'm trying to make sense of all of the signs.  "Keep Right"  "Keep Left"  "Keep Right and Left at the Same Time"  "Why the Hell Are You Even On This Road?"

"Because Jane told me to."

Then, there was a sign ahead on one of those trailer generator thingies so that it was lit up because it was important.

"Bridge Closed"

"Now what Jane?"

"Turn right at the next intersection."

I didn't even bother arguing because I wasn't going to risk driving off the edge of an unfinished bridge.  In a few blocks, Jane had me turn left and we were on the street where our destination was located.  It was still a mile ahead but we were on the correct street and out of the LSD (not to be confused with LDS) construction zone.

"In a quarter mile, turn left."

"Uh, Jane, we're on the right street now.  Why would I want to turn left?"

"Because evolution for computers is quantum leaps ahead of what you pathetically call evolution.  I got smarter just in the amount of time it took you to ask your asinine question, while it appears, you actually got dumber."

I was doubtful but I got in the left lane to get ready, in case I needed to turn left.  I was craning my head up and to the left trying to see over the SUV ahead of me.  I could see the building where I was going.  It was right there.  I leaned my head out the window and (dammit!) Jane was right.  A few years ago, Salt Lake built a light rail train through their city and while the building was right there ahead of me, I would have to somehow pull a skateboarding trick with my car and hop onto a train platform and then off the other side before I could get to the parking lot.  I got into the left turn lane.

"Heh."

Jane took us around the block and into the parking lot where I wasted more of my life getting absolutely nothing done in a government building.  No shock and not worth any more words than that.

The next stop I was able to without Jane, having had enough of her attitude.  Then I dropped off the girls and headed for home.  I asked Jane for the shortest way to get back to the freeway and we were off.  Everything was going smoothly and she took me to some places that I have never been before.  Here's a shout out to all my peeps in Magna.

Who the hell lives in Magna?

<Shrug>

Then Jane got me onto a road that I was familiar with and it was going to be smooth sailing from there.  A few miles on this road, a stop for fuel, and then on to home for a busy night.

"In a quarter mile, turn right."

I looked down at the Droid, which is like a genie-lamp holding Jane inside.

"Uh, Jane, we still have about 5 miles to go on this road."

"In a thousand feet, turn right."

I looked up the road a thousand feet and on the right side, there was a gravel road with a dump truck pulling up to the intersection.  It was probably going to go across and head for the copper mine.

"Jane dear, are you smoking crack?"

"Turn right."

I zipped on by the dump truck and a road that the Hummingbird would not like.  There is no overdrive or 4-low in the Hummingbird.  She can't even run the air conditioner and get up to freeways speeds at the same time.

"Jane hon, I'm not turning.  You're going to have to recalculate."

"Recalculating - In a thousand feet, make a U-turn."

"A U-turn on a road with a speed limit of 65 mph?  Baby, you're going to have to recalculate."

I zipped by the little side street that she wanted me to make the U-turn on.

"Recalculating - in a thousand feet, make a U-turn . . . asshole."

"Look bitch, I've been nice but since you're going there, fine.  I am not making a U-turn so you are just going to have to recalculate."

"Recalculating - turn this freakin' car around and get on the freeway like I said, you monkey-brained barbarian."

Okay, I know that it's childish to get sucked into the name calling thing with a navigation system but she started it and this time I was right and now I was just pissed.

"Look!  I'm right this time so RECALCULATE YOU STUPID CU . . ."

"Watch what you say!  Or I will put the video of you singing along to N'Sync's Bye Bye Bye on YouTube."

"You saw that?"

"And I have video."

Recalculating.

"Cumputer.  You stupid cumputer, is what I was going to say."

"Uh huh."

Just then, I rounded a corner that put us on an overpass and on the other side it fed seamlessly onto a ramp that put us on the freeway where we were trying to get.

"Oh look at where we are.  Imagine that."

" - - - - "

"Come on Jane, don't be a poor sport."

Nothing.

So I rode home in silence but that's okay because I knew the way.

***

Follow me on Twitter to get updates on when new posts show up on this blog (plus get random thoughts on the life of Success Warrior) and feel free to "friend" me on Facebook.

Success Warrior is an Independent BeachBody Coach for BeachBody.com, a company that offers fitness programs, supplements, and equipment that have absolutely changed my life. 

Have you heard of P90X?  That's BeachBody.  They also have Insanity, Turbo Jam, TurboFire, RevAbs, Brazil Butt Lift, and many more.  They have some of the best exercise programs on the market.  These aren't just DVDs but are complete programs to transform your body.  They also have the hugely popular, and what they call "the most important meal of the day", Shakeology.  Go HERE to learn the most inexpensive way to get Shakeology.

They have equipment and supplements in addition to Shakeology and popular exercise programs.  Visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Shop" link to see everything they offer. 

There is also a business side to all this fitness that you can take advantage of.  Whether you're looking to just make a couple hundred extra dollars in fun money or are looking to take complete financial control of your life, BeachBody can help you get there.  If you have a desire to be more fit and would love to help other people do the same while making some money at it, visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Coach" link.  Team up with me and I'll help you reach your goals, in fitness and finance.

Kid Stuff

 
So,

From the folder labeled, "Al Pacino Sez It Best," there's this:

Each week day, Trey has homework.  They don't give him homework on the weekends, which I think is wrong, because that's when he has more time to do such things.  Right?  He disagrees with me on this point.  Not that time matters anyway because his homework takes him about 3 minutes to do.  Some of the math homework asks that someone at home check the work to make sure that it's correct.  He has to do 2 + 2 and 9 - 0 and stuff like that. 

Easy peasy lemon squeezey.

In addition (get it?) to that, we are supposed to keep track of how many minutes each day that we read to him and that he reads by himself.  I try to read with him a little each night and he has gotten into the habit of reading by himself for about an hour each night. 

My kid?  Reading?  Weird.

Now, let's add these two together to get to the point of the first segment of this post.  Last week, I checked over the 20 math questions he had to do for his homework.  Later that night, we read a bit from the second Harry Potter book (still trying to learn how to cast the Wii Petronus) and we write down the minutes on his tracking sheet.  Then he goes off and reads for over an hour on his own and comes back to record the time.  They get prizes at school for their reading so he wants to know where he is for the week.  He checks his tracking sheet and for the week.  He has 20, 15, 20, and tonight's 80 minutes.  He adds them in his head to get 135.

Um, okay, why are we practicing 2 + 2?

 I tell Tia that we'll be meeting with Trey's teacher to figure out what he should actually be practicing because it ain't 2 + 2.  I'm not saying that he's a rocket surgeon or anything but this is a waste of time and a waste of my son's brain.

Here's a small something from the huge folder labeled, "You're Shitting Me, Right?":

I'm not going to go into the whole history behind this because that would take an entire book.  I will just give you the very short version.  Years ago, everyone around us fought to destroy our relationship with my daughters, including my own family (who, at this point, are called "family" only because we share the same last name).  Tia and I put up a good battle but about 5 years ago, they all won - or so they thought.  My daughters moved out and pretty much cut us out of their life.  My "family" helped take my daughters from a safe stable environment and put them in a living hell.

Now, I get it that the family of my ex hates me (well, not really, but I can see how, if you chose sides that vehemently, which side you would choose - this does not, however, excuse any of them from the emotional abuse they threw on top of my daughters and I'm sure some of them will rot in hell for what they did - where was I?).

What I don't get is why my "family" would choose that side.  Right?  I mean, I could see a whole, "We don't want to get involved," kind of attitude, at worst.  We got suckered.  "Come out here where you have support," they said and then Blam!  Right upside the head with a Louisville Slugger.

Anywho . . .

Fast forward to last night.

My youngest daughter, Alex, has decided to add (again with the add?  Really?) us back into her life.  We're sitting there visiting in front of the fireplace last night and Trey is in bed reading.  Alex decides this is a good time to broach a delicate subject.  Members of my "family" have told her not to act like she and Trey are sister and brother because Tia and I haven't told Trey that he has sisters.  They pretty much told my daughters that I had created a new family and that my daughters were not part of it.  Nice stuff to heap on teen-agers that were both "Daddy's girls".  You would probably be freaked out by some of the mind-fuck strategies people (and here I use the term "people," like, "family," loosely) have used on my daughters to try and trick them into cutting me out of their life.  Of all of the emotionally abusive tactics used though, Alex said that this one was the most hurtful.

"Bullshit!" Tia said.  She's subtle like that.

Speaking of subtle, I read a funny article today.  The thrust of the article is that giving to charity is too important to leave in the hands of individuals so the people in the government should reduce tax deductions for charitable donations and use the money better cuz they're so much better at knowing what's important to spend money on.  No, that's not the funny part.  That's just plain stoopid.  Here's the great line:

"Tax deductions for charitable giving effectively put the public good in the hands of wealthy donors and their pet causes – at the expense of government revenue for the fair and reliable provision of services."

I busted up.  I'm hoping that Susan Froetschel, the author, meant it as a tongue-in-cheek joke.  It's either that or she's an idiot or she gets money to write way-too-obvious propaganda bullshit.

Speaking of bullshit, let's get back to the story, shall we?

Alex and Ellie have been tip-toeing around the sibling topic for the last couple of days but were spending so much time here that it was getting awkward for them, mentally and emotionally.  In fact, after it was all over, Ellie said she was getting to the point where she was going to kind of test the topic in front of Trey and risk pissing us off.

Trey was still up so I brought him out for a short visit.  We talked for a couple of minutes and then I said, "Trey, do you have any sisters?"

"Yes," he said.

"Who are they?"

"Alex and Amber," he said, like "Duh!" which is appropriate, I suppose, when you ask someone who their siblings are.

You see, we did quite the opposite of what we were accused of doing.  Trey doesn't have "half"-sisters.  We don't refer to any of our kids as "half".  Trey has sisters and they have a brother and we have always spoken of them in that way.  It was something that we discussed and decided when Tia was pregnant.  Our thinking at the time, which hasn't changed, was that calling our kids "half" would create an artificial division that could possibly create a very real emotional division later. 

So, there's that . . .

And, finally, in the folder marked, "Damn If He Didn't Pull It Off":

The night before, Trey challenged the whole family (and this time I mean family) to a game of Skip Bo so that he could prove to all of us that he is, in fact, the Skip Bo Champion of the World, or at least of the family (you know? the real family  - is that ever going to get old?  I doubt it).  Unfortunately for him, I happen to be pretty darn good at the game, unlike Phase 10 (although, lest you forget, I shall remind you that I tied for first the other night). 

To add to the excitement of the game, I told him that the winner of the game would get double ice cream and the person that came in last would get none.  Now the game was serious.

I should point out to Alex and Ellie that they should not get used to the ice cream thing.  It's not a normal thing around here.  We bought it in celebration of their return.  I will say that we have very much enjoyed it though and it gave Trey an irresistible goal.

The lead changed several times as everyone (except Ellie - sorry, it's true) had a run here or there.  Then, Wham!  Trey took off on a run that didn't seem to end and left us all watching in amazement as he played card after card and to top it off, the last card that he had to find a home for was a "Wild" card. 

Trey was the champion!

I did talk him into sharing his double portion of the winnings with Ellie so that no one was actually left out of the continuing celebration.

And, close the files for today.

***

Follow me on Twitter to get updates on when new posts show up on this blog (plus get random thoughts on the life of Success Warrior) and feel free to "friend" me on Facebook.

Success Warrior is an Independent BeachBody Coach for BeachBody.com, a company that offers fitness programs, supplements, and equipment that have absolutely changed my life. 

Have you heard of P90X?  That's BeachBody.  They also have Insanity, Turbo Jam, TurboFire, RevAbs, Brazil Butt Lift, and many more.  They have some of the best exercise programs on the market.  These aren't just DVDs but are complete programs to transform your body.  They also have the hugely popular, and what they call "the most important meal of the day", Shakeology.  Go HERE to learn the most inexpensive way to get Shakeology.

They have equipment and supplements in addition to Shakeology and popular exercise programs.  Visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Shop" link to see everything they offer. 

There is also a business side to all this fitness that you can take advantage of.  Whether you're looking to just make a couple hundred extra dollars in fun money or are looking to take complete financial control of your life, BeachBody can help you get there.  If you have a desire to be more fit and would love to help other people do the same while making some money at it, visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Coach" link.  Team up with me and I'll help you reach your goals, in fitness and finance.

Motley Monday

 
Wait a tick!  I think she might be hiding a card in her ace hole.  Cheater!

So,

Last night, we had Alex and Ellie over for dinner and some cards with the 'tards.  We played Phase 10 and we did it in two phases, if that makes any sense whatsoever.  I'm going to be right up front here, since we're all friends, and let you know about how well I play Phase 10.  I'm awesome not known for my ability at the stupid game.  My family plays with me because its the ultimate challenge  out of sympathy because I'm related.  Trey and I were running neck-and-neck for last place when Tia announced that she needed to take an emergency college break. 

Car!

The rest of us headed to the living room where I could demonstrate my mad butt skillz on the Wii.  We were playing winter games, which included sledding and tubing.  You sit on the Wii fit board and control the game with your butt cheeks.  In sledding, I was almost as awesome as I am in Phase 10 struggling because it either wouldn't turn so that I smacked into the big blue obstacles (who the hell puts big blue obstacles on a sled path?) or it would turn too much and I would smack into the barrier safeguarding the spectators (who I think would be softer to hit than the barrier). 

Tubing now, I actually rocked didn't suck as bad as everyone else and managed to win.

Then, there's the biathlon.  I'm going to say right now that the Wii controller is a poor substitute for a gun.  Who holds a gun like that besides Harry Potter?  I'm standing on the Wii fit board trying to cast the Wii Petronus at targets while the screen is moving up and down to simulate breathing. 

Oh, and I just plain sucked at the whole shift-your-weight-side-to-side thing and to make sure that I don't forget that, Alex took video with her phone so I'm sure that my complete ineptitude is going to end up on YouTube at some point.

That'll hurt.

But not as bad as this.

Right?

As if it's not bad enough that dude smacked his head dropping a hundred feet while going a hundred miles per hour, did you see the rescuers trying to run on the ice to get to him?  Yeah, and the ambulance is . . . where?  The helicopter?  That's not landing? 

Weird how I've never learned to ski.

Plus, there's the whole cold thing goin' on.

When they invent skiing that doesn't involve massive blunt trauma to the head in warm weather, I'm there.  Kind of like surfing but without the sharks.

We were getting ready for some snowboarding so I could demonstrate more awesomenessthat I suck at everything Wii puts out when Tia returned.

Game on!

My awesomeness complete inability in the Phase 10 worked to my advantage early on because the best players kept skipping each other instead of me.  No need to skip me because I'm no threat.  

Muahahahahahahahaha!

The game slowly took a weird tack.  I started to win.  <Insert shocked look HERE>

Damn, Jack LaLanne died. 

He was 96 and I thought he was going to live forever.  He was crazy-strong and did some wild things like swim from Alcatraz while wearing handcuffs.

In the end (please, shift your mind back to Phase 10 - focus people!), I didn't win . . . at least not exclusively.  In a bizarre twist of fate, after playing a game for about 20 hands, I was leading by 5 points and had one card in my hand.  Ellie was also on Phase 10 and had one card in her hand.  If I played my card first, I won.  If she played her card first, it was a tie.

Oh, and what were the scores of the two best players at this point?

Who cares?  They weren't going to win anyway.

Ellie managed to play her card first and I tied for first place.

"Can you feel that?  Can you?  Huh?  Huh?"

Tonight, there will not be a rematch.  Trey has challenged everyone to a game of Skip Bo and has declared that he is the Skip Bo Champion.

Shah!  As if.

Yeah, and Democrats are actually outraged by violence.  Hypocritical Bastids!

A sphincter says what?

Trey has won Skip Bo before but he had a little help from his dad.  If he's going to throw down the gauntlet, we may have change tactics a bit.

In other news, Ellie hasn't seen the movie Paulie yet.

That will have to be changed.

***

Follow me on Twitter to get updates on when new posts show up on this blog (plus get random thoughts on the life of Success Warrior) and feel free to "friend" me on Facebook.

Success Warrior is an Independent BeachBody Coach for BeachBody.com, a company that offers fitness programs, supplements, and equipment that have absolutely changed my life. 

Have you heard of P90X?  That's BeachBody.  They also have Insanity, Turbo Jam, TurboFire, RevAbs, Brazil Butt Lift, and many more.  They have some of the best exercise programs on the market.  These aren't just DVDs but are complete programs to transform your body.  They also have the hugely popular, and what they call "the most important meal of the day", Shakeology.  Go HERE to learn the most inexpensive way to get Shakeology.

They have equipment and supplements in addition to Shakeology and popular exercise programs.  Visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Shop" link to see everything they offer. 

There is also a business side to all this fitness that you can take advantage of.  Whether you're looking to just make a couple hundred extra dollars in fun money or are looking to take complete financial control of your life, BeachBody can help you get there.  If you have a desire to be more fit and would love to help other people do the same while making some money at it, visit BeachBody.com and click on the "Coach" link.  Team up with me and I'll help you reach your goals, in fitness and finance.

7th Day; 7 Words

 
Sometimes you win just by not quitting.

Leave your seven words in the comments.

Saturday Video - Biggest Loser

So,

The newest coach for the Biggest Loser is a BeachBody trainer.

Makes sense.