In fact, I'm approved for a loan nearly every single day. I know, I'm too cool for words and you're all jealous. I'll tell you what though, if you want, out of the goodness of my heart, I'll forward along the emails telling me that I've been approved to you. You can respond and very likely, the person that sent me the response to my application spam will do business with you as well.
I check the stuff that gets filtered into my spam file because every once in a while, something I actually want that I have forgotten to add to my address book goes there.
There is one bit of good news from what I can gather from the headlines: everyone's penis is now big enough.
There are very few if any penis enlargement spams getting to me. Unfortunately, all these guys with extra large penises must be having a hard time getting it up because I get a lot of Viagra and Cialis spam. That's just got to suck ("suck" is probably not the most appropriate word right there) to get your manhood enlarged and find out that it doesn't work. That'd be like having a really cool private jet with no engine. Sure it looks cool but it ain't going up and no women are going to want a ride.
I also get an email just about everyday to confirm my new bank account. I don't remember the initials of the bank that I didn't apply for but magically got an account with. I glance across the headers and then permanently delete all the crap. I should keep a file of really good ones to share in this blog.
While, we're talking about meaningless ads, I have noticed a trend with internet ads. Have you noticed that the pictures and animations have absolutely nothing to do with the product? I'm not talking about the old trick of using mostly-naked women to show how cool beer is or anything like that (because, really there is nothing more sexy on this planet than a woman with a shirt that's short enough to show her beer gut - gotta love casino life). I'm talking about completely off topic things where the only purpose is to get you to at least look over that way. We have grown so accustomed to ads and banners that we no longer see them so they just want to make you look somehow.
Yesterday, there was this one that had a healthy and peaceful looking asian woman sitting in lotus position and then a purple glow surrounded her. Yoga DVD's maybe? Health food website? Psychic singles dating site? Nope. Car insurance. Obviously it worked. I looked long enough to see what they were selling. I didn't look at the company or click through (obviously) but they did get me to look.
In the era of the internet, there is absolutely no reason to respond to push marketing and in many cases, it's not in your best interest. My buddies at Capital One spend billions on advertising. That money has to come from somewhere. People who spend less on advertising can offer you more. That's true with everything from credit cards to money market funds.
The only money market account that I had heard of before starting this blog was ING. You can get 4.5% interest on your money through them. That's pretty good. Every month, Money magazine lists the 5 Bank Money Market Accounts with the best rate. How does ING rank? It's never on the list. FNBO Direct is at 6% right now (Wow!) and the lowest of the 5 is Transportation Alliance Bank at 5.25%. How many do you think there are before you get down to 4.5%?
If I need a credit card (or if I want one to experiment to see how it affects my credit score), car insurance, a money market account, a Russian bride, a bigger penis, a refi on my home, help getting it up, or a new bank account, I can google it and look for the very best offer.
That goes for all the dead trees that credit card companies mail to you too. If you haven't taken my advice and opted out of those mailings, do so now. Your mailman will thank you for lightening his load. Mother Earth will thank you for cutting down on junk mail. The garbage man will thank you for lightening his load. Mother Earth will thank you again for cutting down on crap in the landfills. Responding to them is a foolish and most likely, a costly mistake.