Chronicles: Alan B. Rowley II - Success Warrior - ECoach - P90X

Interview Meme

Mrs. Chili sent these to me about a month ago and I'm finally getting around to answering them.  The questions were part of an interview type meme where you are asked five questions and then you ask five questions of someone else.  I won't be continuing on by asking people five questions since it took me long enough just to answer these.

1.  I'm a teacher, and I'm constantly amazed by some of the dumbass crap my students pull on a regular basis.  YOU were a policeman, and I can only IMAGINE that you've seen FAR more dumbassery than I.  Tell us a story that you wouldn't have believed yourself if you hadn't actually experienced it.

It's three in the morning and this guy decides that he wants to get a little some-some from his girlfriend.  For some reason, she decides "not tonight."  I would say that it was because he was crazy but she had probably put out for him before so maybe this night she had a headache.  Anyway, they get into an argument about it and he ends up punching her in the nose.  That's not good enough though to really show his outrage at not getting laid.  He comes up with a new plan to really show her.  He grabs a butcher knife and slices his own throat.  She runs next door to call for help.  He lived (in fact, he fought us the whole way), went to a couple of hospitals, and then on the run.  I ended up putting out a warrant for his arrest for the DV.

2.  You are very focused on your physical health and well being.  What do you do to keep your SPIRIT healthy?

Hmmmm.  Good question in that I don't give it much thought.  One thing that I do is take care of my body (at least most of the time).  It's a great place to start, the body being a temple and all.  Most people desecrate their temples with garbage.  In Aikido, there is a saying that the mind and body are one.  What you do to one has an impact on the other.  I take that thinking one step further by saying that the mind, body, heart, and spirit are one.  Heart in this case meaning more along the lines of courage and standing up for what's right.  Love would fall under the spirit header.

I'm meandering in a direction that could last several posts so let me see if I can drum up a short answer.

I watch my son and marvel at the miracle that he is.  I do kind things for my wife to let her know how much she means to me.  I pet the dog more than anyone else even though I was the "no" vote on getting him.  I lay in corpse pose after every workout and just revel in the joy of feeling so alive and vibrant.  I listen to the Universe.  I watch the desert at sunrise, sunset, and every time in between when I can.  Sometime I just stand and face the sun and just be, for a few moment.  Just stand and feel the warmth, close my eyes and still see the light. 

Lately, it seems that I have too much going on to take proper care of my spirit but I also believe that if you do your best to do what's right and, in my case, take care of your family, your spirit will never be long forgotten.

3.  Even though you're very focused on your physical health and well being, I suspect that even YOU fall off the proverbial wagon once in a while.  What's your junk-food / lazy-ass / totally-bad-for-you weakness?

Pizza.  I eat it (too much of it) every month or two when I just have to have it.  Usually it's because I'm feeling completely wiped out mentally.  Pizza is a break on all fronts.

4.  I gather that your current line of work allows you to see a lot of celebrities and / or entertainers.  Who's worth their hype, and who needs to go back into obscurity - and why?

I actually try not to meet them anymore.  Some are very nice people but a lot of them aren't.  I'd rather not know.  Some super nice ones that I have met: Jay Leno, Trace Adkins, Wynonna Judd, Neil Giraldo, and Don Rickles.  A couple of the ones that I have tried not to meet based on how they treated others: Terri Clark and Bill Cosby.  I ended up meeting Terri Clark despite not trying and she was rude to me as well.  She was much nicer after drinking a few bottles of wine, which we provided for free, and then puked all over the limo on the way to the airport and didn't bother to tip the limo driver for the extra trouble.  She's coming back this year.  Yay!

5.  You're the dad of two "generations" of kids - you've got both older daughters and a little boy.  What is your greatest strength as a father, and what about your older kids makes you most proud of the job you've done?

That's another tough question.  With my ex and her family, the deck has been extremely stacked against me.  They have done everything possible to make sure that I don't have a good relationship with my daughters and so far, they have won that battle.  I suppose the thing that I'm most proud about is that I keep trying and I still have hope that they will eventually outgrow the brainwashing.  Every kindness that I show them gets a new translation tied to it and thrown back at me but I have faith that in the end, they will see that it is possible to love someone and be kind with no other motive.

That experience has played an important role in how Tia and I approached our marriage so that Trey never has to go through anything even remotely as traumatic or harsh as my daughters did.

Brain Break

I have a few topics that are roaming around the back of my mind trying to gather momentum.  I don't have time to bring one completely to life today so I'm going to throw in a meme from Mrs. Chili.  It's been a long time since I've done a meme so let's see what happens, shall we?

My favorite age: Information age.

My best friend(s): Of people that I have actually met irl: Tia, Ricky T, Randy, Matt, Erik.  Although I haven't heard from Matt and Erik for a while.

My celebrity crush: None that I can think of off the top of my head.

My defining characteristic: Acceptance.

My most evil moment: Each time I come up with some devious exercise that taxes my students physically and mentally.

My favorite food: Apples although I've been eating a lot of bananas lately. 

My grossest injury: I haven't had any gross injuries.

My biggest hatred: All consuming greed.

My most illegal activity: Recently the worst I've done is drive 5 miles over the speed limit.  The worst of all time deserves a post of its own.

Me-Me Monday: Old & New and Tracy Lawrence and Chris Isaak

Today's meme is from Friday5 again.

1. What makes you feel old?

Sleep.  The desire to sleep.  Especially when that desire over-rides the desire for sex.  I think that's a definite sign that I'm getting old.  10 years ago, there is no way that I would have told a totally hot well-endowed nekkid blond that I was too tired.  Now, it's mumbled as I fall unconscious while my head sinks into the pillow.  That's old.

2. What makes you feel young?

Just about everything else.

Rolling Thomas the Train back and forth on the floor in JC Penney's lingerie section.  Watching Spongebob with Trey.  Running faster and lifting more than people half my age.  Feeling like I have a bright future full of endless possibilities.

3. What was better when you were allowed to do it the old way?

Nothing really. 

I did like it when my friends lived close to me.  I have friends scattered across the country and thanks to the miracle of the Internet, I'm able to keep in constant contact with them. 

4. What's better now that you do it the new way?

News via the Internet.  I'll never get news from the TV ever again.  Never.  Ever.

UnderArmour.  Love it.  Much better than the old t-shirt.

5. What's something you are old school about?

Opening the car door for my wife.  Opening doors for women, kids, and the elderly.  Saying "thank you".  Talking face to face instead of by phone or through a drive-thru.  Personal responsibility.

Lots of things that have gone out of style. 

I don't think all the blame can be put on people for these things going out of style.  There has been a movement to enslave everyone so people feel more rushed, less helpful, less community.  One person used to be able to bring in enough money to raise a family.  Now it takes two people working a couple jobs plus picking up overtime where they can if they want anything extra.

I don't believe this is in any way an accident but I'm not going to go into it now.

Me-Me Monday: 5 Things I Like

Today's meme is from Take 5 Tuesday:

5 of your favorite words -

Interesting question.  It's one of the reasons why I chose this meme.  I've never given any thought to any favorite words.

"Dude" will have to be one.  I use it a lot in my comedic blogs and comments.

"Definitely" is something that I type up a lot.  I seldom took a stand before blogging but I find myself doing it more and more.  There are some things that just are.

"Girl" will need to be on the list.  It's what I call Tia when it's just me and her.

I'll throw "Spartacus" onto the list for similar reasons.  I've been calling Trey Spartacus since before he was born.  I used to talk to him through the stomach wall.

Allow me to go off on a tangent here while I'm thinking about that time of his life.  He used to get the hiccups a lot before he was born.  It was the funniest thing to see Tia's stomach bounce over and over when he hiccuped.  I can't help but smile when he gets the hiccups now because of the memories.

"Dammit!"  It's my cuss word.  I don't use profanity except for this word.  Sometimes as a joke and sometimes for real.  Tia and Trey have picked up on it and both of them say it.  That's may end up being my legacy.

"Dammit!  Here lies Success Warrior."

Me-Me Monday: Guilty Pleasures

Today's meme is from Friday Fun and it's all about guilty pleasures.

One thing you should know about me before we start is that I don't do guilt.  I don't believe in it.  To me, feeling guilty is putting other people's expectations above mine.  Quite frankly, my expectations are high enough and are exactly in line with how I want my life to go.  I don't need to put anyone else's expectations on top of that.  That being said, let's move on to the meme with the idea that these are special treats that I don't feel guilty about but don't do often.

1. Food - Pizza.  I don't enjoy it like I used to but I still enjoy it.  Maybe because it triggers memories.  I don't know.  Ricky T and I used to eat pizza quite often and I became the master of pizza slice flipping.  Once again, I apologize to the bald guy that I hit on the top of the head with the piece of sausage.  I did make the catch on the double flip though, if that's any consolation and Pizza Hut didn't ban me from their restaurant.  Rick and I were probably there best customers.

Me-Me Monday: Spring

Today's meme was borrowed from 3 X Thursday:

1. Do you like the season of Spring? What does 'spring' mean where you live?

It's my favorite time of the year. 

Spring here means an end to cold.  My grass is turning green.  My roses are starting to bud.  I have daffodils that are blooming.  My lilacs in the back are starting to show a bit of purple. 

For Trey, it means that he'll get to play outside.  He can play baseball and ride his bike.

For me, it means energy.  I am solar powered.  Praise be to Ra. 

2. Do you have a favorite part of Spring? If so, what is it? Why?

My favorite part of spring is my optimism.  My whole attitude changes as the weather turns warm.

3. Do seasons in general mean much to you? Why/why not?

To me, the seasons mean, "Don't panic."  Everything goes in cycles.  You have to ride those cycles as best you can.  There are going to be times that you really enjoy and there will be times that you simply endure.  Take time to really enjoy the people and events that cycle into your life.  Eventually they will cycle back out.  They will return or be replaced in the next cycle.

Me-Me Monday: TV

Borrowed from PTE Rick.

1.  Name 3 bad things about TV.

- Most of the crap on TV is crap.  Okay, I probably don't have the experience necessary to make that judgment call but from the previews of shows I've seen, I'm sticking with my evaluation.  Final answer.

- Commercials.  I would probably watch more TV if there weren't any commercials.  Currently, I watch an hour a week and that's all the commercials that I can stand.  Not only do I feel they are wasting my time, but some I don't understand, and some I just shake my head and wonder if people really buy into the stupidity.

- The average American watches 4 hours of crap and commercials per day.  After work, commute, showers, eating, and sleeping, that seems like all the rest of a person's daily allowance of time.  And they obviously fall for the stupidly materialistic commercials or companies wouldn't make them.

succesMe-Me Monday: Random Stuff

Another meme borrowed from Mrs. Chili (and I remembered to link to her blog this time).

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?

Any of them that charge interest.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Sad as this may be but I can't remember the last romantic dinner we had.  We had plans for Valentine's Day but that was changed by friends dropping in. 

3. Do you own a guitar?
No.  I was tempted to go buy one just so I could answer yes to this question.

4. Name of your first grade teacher?
You're kidding right.  I can't remember what happened two days ago and I've been to about 14 different schools.  5th or 6th grade was Mr. C.  Cvatanich or something?  Best teacher I ever had.

5. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yes but not as a patient.

6. Do you own a piggy bank shaped like a pig?
No.  Mine looks like a large Pepsi can.  A held over idol from my cop days.  Mountain Dew was nectar of the gods but I favored Pepsi. 

7. How many colleges did you attend?
Two, so far.  Many more to come, I'm sure.

Me-Me Monday: Manly Answers to Manly Questions

Here's a meme specifically made for guys by Mrs. Chili.

1. Boxers? Briefs? Boxer briefs? Thongs? Commando?

Is this a meme or a sleazy chat session?  I answered this one in last week's meme.

2. What’s your fussiest personal care routine?

I trim my pubic hair into different animals each month like the bushes at Disneyland.  This month's mascot is the giraffe.  Hello Mr. Giraffe.

3. Do you have a favorite tool? Power or manual?

Well, the obvious answer is too obvious so my answer is going to be my cordless drill (which could still be the obvious answer, I suppose, for those of you with your minds in the gutter).

4. Can you change your own oil? Do you?

That's a big negatory in both cases.  I have inherited my father's mechanical expertise (none) and added to that my mechanical desire (none) and come up with complete incompetance when it comes to cars.

5. What’s the “manliest” thing you do on a regular basis?

Pee standing up.  In morse code.  Long stream, short stream, long stream.  Short stream, long stream, short stream.  Long stream . . . sorry, need to go drink more before I can continue the message.

6. What’s something “manly” that you never learned how to do?

Change the oil in my car.

7. Do you ever cry? If so, what’s your trigger?

Yes.  Trigger: Clay Walker music.

Me-Me Monday: Stuff You Probably Don't Care About

Here's a meme I've seen on a few different blogs.  The last one being on Sister Mary Lisa's blog.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes.  I was named after my father.  My son is named after me and my daughters have my initials.  I haven't decided if that's cool or pretty darn freaky.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Well, let me go check in my cry diary and see when that was.  What the hell?  I have no freakin' idea.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I suppose that it suits its purpose.  If it I didn't like it, I would change it.  It's a weird collection of print, cursive, and special characters, mixed within sentences and sometimes within a single word.  I do prefer to type though because sometimes even I have a hard time reading what I wrote.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Chicken breast.  No bread or anything else.  Just the chicken.

5. HAVE YOU ANY CHILDREN? No.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably. We have a lot in common.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Never.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? I haven't look lately so I can't be sure.  There was that one morning where I woke up in a bathtub full of ice but I still had my kidneys so I'm not really sure what that was all about.  My mom threatened to have them taken out when I was a kid because I had strep throat so much.  Maybe she drugged me and followed through on her threat.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes, if my attempt to disarm the guy holding a gun on me failed, I might jump to avoid being shot.  Avoid being shot until the stupid rubber band brought me back up so the guy had a second chance, and third, and fourth. 

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Never eat the stuff.  I used to like Honey Grahams but the last time I ate them (7 years ago, - yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a cereal diary, why do you ask? - ), I got incredibly sick.  It appears that one needs a gall bladder in order to eat Honey Grahams.  I was fine with them before but after was not pretty.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes, now that the 80's are over.  I was one of those guys that wore high tops unlaced.  Not sure what that was all about.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I suppose it's all relative.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Only eat it a couple of times a year and I let Tia and Trey pick.  They usually pick ice cream sandwiches.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Body condition.  I size up their physical threat to me and those around them.  If they do look like it would be hard to take them out, I look for possible weaknesses, just in case.

15. RED OR PINK?  Blue.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?  My poor memory.

17. DOG OR CAT PERSON?  Dog, of course.  Dog meaning a canine animal that you do not have to bend your knees in order to pet.  Anything smaller might as well be a cat.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO DO THIS MEME?  Yes.  In fact, I'm going to write my congressman about getting a bill put in place that would require everyone with computer access to do this meme.  The bill will also include language that would give everyone internet access.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?  Gray pants.  Black shoes.  Why do you ask?  I have changed clothes since knocking off the c-store if you were trying to trick me into giving you a matching description.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?  Chicken breast and an apple.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?  The voices in my head all yelling out different answers to these questions.  Sometimes it's hard to pick and I usually go with the one that sounds the most threatening.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?  The one that best suit the purpose at hand.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?  Rain.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE?  Either my wife or my assistant.  They call the most so odds are on them.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO MADE YOU DO THIS STUPID MEME?  Of course, or I wouldn't have listed her at the top.

26. WHICH SPORT DO YOU ENJOY WATCHING MOST?  NFL.

27. HAIR COLOR?  Whose?  Mine is brown if that's what you're asking.

28. EYE COLOR?  Brown or green or gray depending on the weather, my mood, and my clothes.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACT LENSES?  No.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?  A tender, medium rare steak grilled on my barbeque, eaten on a warm summer evening with my wife.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?  If you mean happy endings like certain massage therapists give, I'd have to go with that.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?  Half of Big Trouble in Little China.  "Like Jack Burton always says . . ."  Why half?  See answer #39.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?  Gray.  Are you doing some kind of psyche evaluation on me?

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Spring.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?  Hugs are nice but it really depends on the parts of the body that are being kissed.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?  Some of those x-rated kisses.

37. DAWN FRENCH OR CAROL BURNETT?  What kind of choice is that.  I pick Elizabeth Hurley.

38. SPAGHETTI OR LASAGNA? TACOS OR BURRITOS? HAMBURGERS OR HOT DOGS? Spaghetti, tacos, and hamburgers.  Not usually all in the same meal.

39. WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING NOW?  I'm in the middle of about half a dozen books.  Did I mention that I have attention deficit - look something shiny.

40. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My mouse.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?  Nothing.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?  Rain.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?  About 30,000 feet. 

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?  See questions 35 and 36.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?  Puerto Rico.

47. WHY DO YOU DO MEMES?  Ironically, I started doing them because they would supposedly give my brain a break but I have found that to not be true.

48. BOXERS OR BRIEFS?  Briefs.  I like my stuff to stay right where I put it.  I don't want to go hunting around when I'm trying to pee.  "I know I left it here somewhere."  Just to complete the whole "what your clothes say about you" thing, the ones I'm wearing while typing this are gray.

49. CANDLES OR INCENSE?  It depends on what kind of lead I think I need ahead of the arson investigator.

50. MOUNTAIN CABIN OR BEACH HOUSE?  How about a mountain cabin near the beach?  Why limit myself?