Last weekend I saw (and heard, I should point out) Clay Walker and Carlos Mencia and Carlos Mencia (he did two shows).
Clay, I apologize if you're reading this but there are few musical genres that I like less than Country music. One of those that I do happen to like less than Country music is Country Chick music. To his credit, he did pick up the pace around the fifth song. Very lucky for me. I had the belt around my neck and strapped to the balcony railing and was just stepping over to end it all when the drummer kicked in, jolting me out of the depressive-hypnosis I was under. From there, he switched back and forth so that none of the guys in the audience overdosed on chick music.
Normally, I'm not one of those guys that takes a drink of Sprite with no syrup in it, winces back yelping, "This tastes nasty!" then hands the glass to the next person and says, "Here tries this." I just don't feel the need to do that. I don't need a second opinion on pop with out syrup or carbonation and I don't like to make people suffer just because I did. In the case of Country Chick music though, I have to say, "This sounds nasty. Listen to this."
Read on though and let me share the silver lining.
Guess who does like Country Chick music? Yep, cowgirls.
Let me interject that I know that I'm getting old. The signs appeared a year or so ago and were quite disturbing to me. Maybe some of you can empathize. Maybe this will scare some of my younger readers. Maybe it won't happen to you. This could just be me.
You see, I've lost that lusting feeling. It's hard to explain because I still appreciate seeing a beautiful woman but it's definitely different from the comments the younger guys around me make.
Still, I sit just about on the stage looking out at the audience. My job is to watch them watch the entertainer and if I have a choice between cute cowgirls with store bought boobs and drunk cowboys with DIY beer guts, the choice is obvious.
The next night was Carlos Mencia.
"Was he funny?" I was asked several times. I didn't laugh a single time but that's not a good judge. I'm concentrating on the drunks to see who's going to get out of line. I listen and he makes a lot of good points and he gets to say a lot of things that the rest of us can't because he's a comedian. It's okay to say politically incorrect stuff if it's a joke and you're a famous comedian. Don't try to put it into your blog if you aren't. Trust me on this.
The audience was laughing a lot so I would say that he was funny.
The cool thing for me was that even though he did two shows, he did two completely different shows. I didn't have to hear the same jokes twice from him.
During the second show, I did my first take down working security out here. A couple of guys in different parts of the audience were exchanging words. Security talked with them and told them to focus on the show and leave each other alone. A friend of one of those started in on security and that turned physical. Another guy joined in and grabbed him and told him to back off. He ignored me so I told him again. He ignored me again. He was grabbing a security officer that already had his hands full with another drunk. I hooked one hand under his shoulder and the other around his neck and pulled him backwards off balance. I dragged him away from the wrestling match which was getting worse and then made him sit down. Once seated, I told him to sit still or I would choke him out. He sat very nicely until the other guy was in cuffs.
I let him up. He wanted to complain. I told him to have a seat and enjoy the rest of the show. He wanted to complain some more. I told him he could sit or he could leave. He wanted to complain some more.
Dee dee dee.
I had him escorted out.
This week is Howie Mandell and Night Ranger.
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