Success Warrior: Alan B. Rowley II - Beachbody.com, P90X, Voluntaryism, Voluntarism

Churches in Vegas

                   

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.


NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.


SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN. 

  THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS!

-Thanks to Rhiia for this little gem.-

What Do They Have To Hide?

Catholicism may be the most famous religion for covering up for the pedophiles in leadership but they certainly aren't the only ones.  They just settled a court case in Californian where they will have to pay $660 million to over 500 victims.

There is a case now in Oregon where a man is suing the Mormon church for $45 million because he was molested as a child by a member of the church.

Before he follows through though, he would like to know how much money the church has.  Presumably so he can ask for more.

The victims in California are getting $1.3 million a piece.  This guy is starting at $45 million and wants to see just how deep the pockets are.  I'll let you decide whether that's right or wrong.  How much do you get for something that can never be replaced?

The Mormon church has said that it won't reveal how much money it has.  It has filed a petition with the court stating that it is covered by the Constitution and does not have to reveal just how much money it has scammed collected from its member.

What do these righteous people have to hide?

Full article.

God must have heard me

On Sunday, I made a comment about how I had considered starting my own religion.  I could ask people to lead good lives and I could make a lot of money doing it.  I mean, A LOT of money.  Religion is big business and gets good tax breaks for being in a special branch of business.  I have decided against starting my own religion for now because it seems that religion and hypocrisy go hand-in-hand and I don't want to go that route.

But god is teasing me. 

I got an email today for a book called Growing An Engaged Church.  This book will teach me how to get my congregation to recruit more members for my church.  It will show me how to teach them to be more satisfied with their lives.  I'll learn how to get them to take a more active role in their community and helping others.

And, it will teach me how I can get the congregation to contribure three times as much money as they currently are.  Dat's what I'm talkin' 'bout. 

If I had started my church when I first thought about, I could triple my income.  If I start now, I will be starting from scratch.  I wonder if this guy writes a book on how to start a church.  Before I can triple my income by learning a more effective way of fleecing faithful followers, I need to get them in the first place.

Dang, now I'm thinking about starting my own religion again. 

How about the Church Aspiring to Serve Heaven?

Pass the Catholic Buck

The Catholic church has to pay a settlement of $10 million for the sex abuse and subsequent attempt to hide the abuse by moving pedophiles to new areas where they could strike again on unsuspecting victims.

How do they plan on paying this settlement?  They don't.  They are asking the church members to pay it for them.  Each region has been set with a goal amount to raise to settle the debt.

It seems odd to me that people would pay the fee levied as punishment for the people that preyed on their children.  That takes a level of faith or indoctrination that is far beyond my ability to comprehend but this is a blog about money, not religious brainwashing.

Catholics in Spokane Washington are being asked to donate $1,000 per family on top of their normal get-into-heaven contribution.  And what if they can't afford it?  Put it on a credit card, the church is urging.  Hey, and you'll earn airline miles. Read Local Catholics Asked To Pay By Credit Card [emphasis not mine] if you think I'm making any of this up.

There is good news if you live in Brazil.  The Catholic Church in Brazil now issues its own credit cards so instead of airline miles, you can earn heavenly miles when you show your forgiveness to the church that helped pedophiles avoid being revealed for who they were.

This way the church doesn't have to pay its debt and they get to collect on the interest.  How cool is that for the church?

The key to heaven is within your grasp

In fact, it's in your pocket.

Repent, make a donation, and eternal bliss is yours.

Does God take Visa?

I should have seen this coming. I really should have.  It only makes sense.  In fact, I'm surprised that it escaped my attention until now given my beliefs on religion.

You can now use your debit and credit cards to buy your way into heaven. 

It isn't a new thing but the number of religious organizations that accept cards increased by 21% last year.  I think this is a trend that we will continue to see rise.

I suppose there are some important questions to ask. 

If you pay the toll on the Pearly Gates with a credit card and then default on that card, do you go to hell for using stolen money to try to trick St. Peter?

Do you get extra blessings by paying interest on your spiritual donation?

How long do you think it will be before consumers can get their church logo on their Visa card like colleges credit cards?

Speaking of the Devil.  In trial areas of California and Wisconsin, you will be able to pay for parking meters with debit and credit cards.

Quite frankly, I love the idea of using a debit card for this purpose.  Does anyone still carry coins around with them?  I suppose if I used a parking meter regularly, I would get in the habit.  I love my debit card and carry just enough cash around to cover tips.

A good rule of thumb that I heard was not to use credit on things that will be gone or used up before you are done making the payments.  This includes things like dining out and groceries and now parking meters.

Heavenly rewards, I suppose, last for all eternity so this rule should not stop you from paying god's bill with credit.

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Today's Chronicle Post: Where was this technology when I was a cop?