Chronicles: Alan B. Rowley II - Success Warrior - ECoach - P90X

A Sign of the Times: Bullet Proof Backpacks

I wish I were kidding.

"Our children already live with these thoughts every day. School systems across the nation are staging drills for "lock downs" and "shelter in place." Act now to give your children a personal, defensive safety tool that will help them feel more confident and able to focus on learning. Isn't that what school should really be about?"

And they're selling like bullet proof hot cakes. 

The part of the backpack that rests on your back has a level II ballistic panel in it.  That's the same level that many cops wear.  I wore a IIIA when I was a cop which is little more bullet resistant because I'm allergic to bullets.  Throw a biology textbook in there and you probably increase the protection right up to IV.

The backpack protects the vitals in the torso when worn normally or can be taken off and used as a shield to protect the head and torso.

"Weighing just 20oz (the weight of a small water bottle), our ballistic panel is light enough for a young child to carry as part of their pack."

I don't have anything I can add to this.  I think the fact that we are putting bullet proof vests on our elementary kids speaks for itself.

5 Sword Points for Erik for making me aware of this product.

Luck Favors the Prepared Person

My 10 year old computer was starting to get a bit sluggish so we decided to buy a new computer.  I had a friend build it and I just bought parts.  I bought a couple pieces each week until the computer was built.  All that was left were the things that go outside the tower.  The old computer was getting so slow that we took money out of savings and ordered everything.

I spent Monday and Tuesday putting everything together.  My computer actually looks up to date - for today. 

The only thing that I didn't change was my trac ball.  I really like it.  It's like your favorite pair of shoes.  It fits my hand nicely.  I gave the old computer to Trey to use for his Hooked on Phonics and whatever else we decide to get him and he got a Superman mouse for it.  He loved the computer and was very possessive (past tense and the reason for this post).

I asked my computer geek friend about the easiest way to move the data from the old hard drive to the new one.  He said it was easy enough to connect the two and retrieve all the data.  I just needed the cable and I would be in business.

Yesterday morning, the old computer died.

Test Your Manhood With This Cool Product

Guys, want to increase your . . . um, penmanship, in the snow?  Then this is the product for you.  Now you can go on safari every time you pee.  Just toss a few animals into the toilet, take out your . . . hunting rifle (I know some of you only have deringers, use whatcha got), and start shooting.

I will be the first one to say that I haven't seen too many teddy bears on safari and don't know why you would want to pee on one, but anyway . . .

Once you have that mastered, you can take them out and tie them to the branches of a tree.  Start on a day where there is very little wind and work your way up to a blustery fall day.  With a little practice you should be able to hit leaves as they fall to the ground, like skeet shooting.

"Pull!"

If you don't have a fence, I hope that your neighbors are very understanding.  Worse, if you don't have a tree, when you're explaining to the cops why you are peeing on little animals tied to a tree in a park, please leave my name out of it.  Thank you.

If you follow this training program, you should be ready for calligraphy by the time the first snow falls.

5 Sword Points for Cherise for letting me know about this wonderful product: Toilet Time Targets.  I know she meant them for Trey who is potty training and I promise that I will let him use a few but this is way too cool of a toy to just give to him.

Now, if you'll excuse me, that Diet Pepsi has gone straight through me so I'm headed for a big time safari.  I might even bag a teddy bear (seriously, who the hell hunts teddy bears?).

Success Warrior Diet Program

I've taught you how to lose unwanted debt.  Now let me show you how to lose unwanted fat with the new Success Warrior Diet. 

Let me assure you that there is no sweating (not even to the oldies) involved.  No hard work.  No labored breathing (like whn you bend over to tie your shoes because you can wear flip flops on this plan).  This is going to be so easy that if you can't lose weight on my plan, you can't lose weight.  Go get a rubberband put around your stomach.

The plan revolves around two key products.  A bit of food and drink because, after all, let's face it, you like to eat and drink.  Don't we all?  I would never say to put an end to that or even to cut back.  Shaw, as if.  We are just going to subsitute these two products in and watch the pounds melt right off your body (stand someplace where melting fat won't ruin).