Chronicles: Alan B. Rowley II - Success Warrior - ECoach - P90X

Ricky T. Teaches Trey To Cuss

Why would he do that?  I don't know.  Trey is only 3 and really doesn't seem to have that many things in his life that are cuss-worthy.

There is one thing though that sets him off just about every time.  He has this Thomas the Train track set up that comes with a kind of bridge set up.  Putting the first track is the hardest part and it often falls before the second piece can be attached to stabilize it. 

When it does, Trey says, "Dammit!"

Some of you may be wondering how Rick pulled this off after spending only a couple of days with Trey a year ago.  In fact, Rick might be wondering that as well.  Lucky for you, I'm going to answer that.

Next week.

Showin' Off the Spidey Whiteys

Trey is in training, potty training.  Really, I don't know what training we're doing.  Now that he's made the decision to do it, he's just doing it.

Tuesday, Tia bought him some new Spiderman underwear as a reward for how well he's been doing.  He's on this Spiderman kick lately and absolutely loves them. 

He thinks their so cool that he has been showing them to everyone.  He just walks up to people and yanks down his pants to show them Spiderman.  I've had to explain the people what they are supposed to take notice of.

"Cool Spiderman underwear," they say, which encourages him to show the next person.

His youthful exuberance and joy is fun to watch.  So fun in fact, that the next time I buy myself some new underwear, I'm going to go around showing them to people to capture the feeling.

"Check out my Spiderman underwear!  Wanna see Venom?"

Time for Trey to Meet a Teacher

My wife had a bunch of co-workers over last night for a baby shower.  I made myself scarce by installing a new motor for the garage door opener.  Tia works in a school so just about everyone at the event is a teacher.  One of them is a kindergarten teacher.

This teacher was sitting there visiting when Trey said something about it being 6 o'clock.  It was 6:15 but it was close enough that it attracted her attention.  We haven't taught him the minutes yet so he gives all times to the closest hour for now.

45 minutes later, she thought she would see if it was just a fluke.  Trey was helping another boy on a toy laptop find different letters.  She asked him what time it was.  He looked up at the clock and said "7 o'clock". 

Tia said the teacher seemed quite impressed and wanted to know how a 3 year old knows times.  He just does.  It's something he has picked up from different clues.  We haven't done any formal training on it but we do tell him when certain things will happen.  When it does happen, he looks at the clock and must have figured out how to make the connection.  He's been doing it for long enough that we just take if for granted.

Top Son

Trey has loved Top Gun ever since we put in that surround sound system that I won last Christmas.  I know he's not the only 3-year old that goes around saying:

"Talk to me Goose."

"I'm looking!  I'm looking!"

but I think he still might enjoy the movie more than most kids his age.  He wants to hear the soundtrack when we drive (umm, yes we have it, doesn't everyone?) and loves planes of all types. 

In the last week and half, he's had a couple of special treats.

Grim Tales - Turning the Tide

My ex is the queen of spin.  She should have found a way to take a job as a political advisor.  She has an ability that is almost magical (black arts but still) in her ability to get people to believe her and for the remainder of the Grim Tales posts, I'll refer to her as Darth because she has a Sith Lord's ability to manipulate people.

When we decided to get divorced, she started a propaganda campaign that was so intense and so all-encompassing that only a handful of people weren't caught in the net.  People who a week before were sympathetic to me because even though I was married, I was raising my daughters essentially as a single parent and doing a dang good job at it, now felt it necessary to rush in and rescue my daughters from my evil grasp. 

When we were married, Darth used to complain that my daughters liked me better.  They were both daddy's girls.  You want to know the secret to that.  Spend lots of loving time with your kids.  I had to step in several times to back her off of her verbal rampages against these girls who were (and still are) both incredibly smart, beautiful, and well-behaved.  Quality time will naturally occur during quantity time.

She made a blitzkrieg attempt over a weekend and continued for years to make sure that the propaganda never wore off.  She was so effective that even members of my family believed her.  In all subsequent court battles, Tia and I found ourselves all alone in trying to save the girls.  It was frustrating in that we were so truthful and Darth was so deceiving and yet people believed her.  There have been costs involved, not just to my daughters but to others as well.

Anyone Seen Success Warrior?

Where to begin.

Let's start with Saturday. 

Saturday started off very well and then during karate training (it's not really Karate but for simplicity sake I call it that), I was injured.  I didn't think much of it but something in my throat was damaged and still hurts today.  I don't know if that has anything to do with the next couple of days but it was something very noteable that happened where there was a very distinct before and after feeling.

In fact, I ended up coming home from work a couple hours early that night because I just didn't feel well.

Sunday started off with the same feeling and I didn't get much done but by Sunday night, I felt much better.  I thought I was on the mend but looking back now, feeling how I feel today physically, it was probably the Excedrin (generic brand, of course).

God Grants Prayers

For the last couple of weeks, Trey has wanted a football.  I'm not quite sure what happened to his old football.  Maybe the same guerilla squirrels that interrupted my internet stole it.  Maybe the scorpians have it just outside the fence and are trying to entice Trey to come outside where they exact revenge for their comrade in arms that went on log flume ride known as the toilet.

Or maybe it's just tucked away somewhere "safe" and we'll find it when we move.

In any case, he has started wanting a new one.  Maybe because it's football season.  We haven't watched any games yet but he might just have the natural instinct to know that it's football season.  He really likes sports and might just have a gut feeling about it.

Last week, my wife called her mom for a visit and Trey talked to grandma.  He told her that he wanted a football.  It's really been on his mind and being the smart kid that he is, he knows to ask grandma.  In most cases, that a more sure bet than asking god.  In this case, maybe god was getting a bit jealous or something.

There was a company picnic on Thursday.  I was doing security for the event and Tia and Trey came down.  I went early and had dinner with them.  After dinner, I went over to one of the gates and chatted with other managers.  All managers had to work the event.  Tia and Trey went to check out the activities.  They had big blow up slides and stuff.

I was standing there visiting when I heard a ball thump on the ground.  I turned and looked and this black, orange, and white football was bouncing over a bunch of people who were all unable to catch it.  It bounced again and came down toward my feet.  I did a little soccer/hackey sack kick and bounced it up into my hand. 

I looked around to see who had lost their ball.  No one was coming for it and no one seemed concerned that I had it.  Finally someone told me that it was a prize that had been thrown from the stage and who ever caught it got to keep it.  Well, how cool.

When Trey came back to see me, I gave him the football.

"Where'd you get that?" Tia asked.

"It quite literally fell from the sky."

Trey loves it.  Loves it.  He has been taking it everywhere.  He has been playing catch with anyone that will play catch with him.  He's got a pretty good arm too.  We take the football in the car and to the store.  He even takes it to bed with him.

So, if there's anything that you need, let me know and I'll pass it on to Trey.  Maybe he'll put in a good word for you the next time he talks to god.

This was not in my plans for this morning

If you could read my unfinished post about my P90X training for the last couple of days, you would know that I had no intention on getting up this morning any earlier than Trey.  I was going to sleep as much as he would allow.  He's got a cold and I don't want a cold so I'm trying to get some extra rest.

That was *my* plan.

What actually happened was slightly different.

There I was sleeping quite contently when my wife jumped up on the bed and started bouncing up and down screaming that there was an intruder in the house tyring to kill her.  I should have told her to call 911 but instead I asked her what time it was.  7:30.  I'm pretty sure that Trey was going to sleep past 7:30 but not if my wife was making all that racket.  Obviously the best plan is to deal with the intruder as quietly as possible so that she will stop screaming and then I can go back to bed.

I stop listening to the voices in my head long enough to catch the word "scorpion" from my wife.  Okay, the intruder has been identified.  They seem to like our kitchen.  I'm not sure why that is.  The lizards and beetles like the kitchen too.  I keep vowing (read today's Success Warrior Blog) to throw out the left over Purina Scorpion Food but just haven't gotten around to it.  I'll bet that's why they come in our kitchen.

Family, Finance, and Fitness - A Free Coaching Offer

Long time readers of both my blogs know that there are three areas of life that I really focus on: Family, Finance, and Fitness.  I have written extensively in these public blogs on Family  and Finance over the last year (and even longer in my private blogs).  I have only mentioned Fitness every once in a while but that obviously changed when I came across P90X last month.

I believe that people who aren't taking some control of their Finance and Fitness are going to lead limited lives.  For some people this may be okay but I know there are plenty of people out there like me who will be yelling, "Frrreeeeedommmmm!" until there isn't any more air in their lungs.

I haven't achieved the level of freedom that I want yet but I'm not going to give up without a fight.  I see too much of the trapped life and I have too much that I still want to do and that keeps me from just giving up.

Hill AFB Air Museum

Trey loves trains, planes, and firetrucks so we took him and his cousins to see the planes at the Hill AFB Air Museum in Ogden Utah.  He had a great time and keeps asking to go back.

If we move where we want, he'll be able to go often.  The Thunderbirds should be perforning here next year.  We'll make sure we go see them.

I did up another photo album and put it at the top on the right.

I Make My Wife Laugh - Part 2

Last week, I decided to clean off my desks.  I do this every couple of weeks.  Okay, I mean to do it every couple of weeks.  Sometimes, it's every couple of months.  Sometimes it doesn't happen until I can't find something important.

Not much really accumulates here.  A bit of mail sometimes, a couple of magazines, notes for writing, and a few empty water glasses.  Why I can't take one out when I bring one in, I don't know.  Probably something to do with my routine where I get to the kitchen before I get to the office.

We had been talking about moving so it was on my mind.  Originally we had planned on moving in 2009.  With the job opportunity that has presented itself, we've decided to move as soon as I get a job that pays more than I'm getting here.

We have no idea when that will be and that's what made my wife laugh.  For the most part, she has gotten used to the fact that she's married to a quirky kinda guy that will do stuff out of the blue. 

"What are you thinking?" is a question that could bring any sort of answer, some that don't really have any base in reality.

I Got To Play a Wii Yesterday

As part of yesterday's adventures (the first post of which is HERE), we had dinner with my mom and two brothers.  Mark's wife, Heather, was there and all the kids were present.  Cory's wife, Risa, was at work because they do a similar things as my wife and I, working opposite shifts to tag-team on the kid.

Cory has a son that's about a month younger than Trey and Mark has 3 boys and a girl.  The youngest of the boys is about a year older than Trey and the daughter is a couple years younger.  We put all the boys at one end of the table so that the adults could visit.  5 boys, ages 3-9, all sitting together with an amount of freedom that was roughly the equivalent of "do what you want as long as a parent doesn't have to step in."

Heather is a stay at home mom with the 4 kids and I have to say that my brother has got the easy job.  It wouldn't matter what his job was, he would have the easy side.  She's like supermom and makes it all look very easy.  We asked her if she would help us with Trey if we ended up moving into town and my wife and I ended up on same or similar shifts.  She said that she would be happy to do that.  My wife asked if she was sure and if it wouldn't be too much work.

I looked down at the boys' end of the table.  Trey was at the very end, sitting there quietly watching the other boys.  Jaxon, Cory's son, was sitting even more quietly if that's possible.  He wasn't really paying attention to what the other boys were doing.  My wife said that she thought it would be good for Trey to play with other boys and that it would be good if it was with a family with similar standards.

I laughed.

Did You Know That Today Is Father's Day

I had forgotten that it was Father's Day until I saw it on the yahoo page.  It's not that being a father isn't special, it's just that every day is a father's day as far as I'm concerned. 

Trey is learning to ride a bicycle and he completely surprised me earlier this week.  He's learning how to pedal.  He can press down but has a hard time rolling the pedals over for the next stroke.  This week he figured it out but it's not because he's catching on that made it special.  It's because when we got done and were walking in the house, he thanked me for teaching him.  How many 3 year olds do that?  I was totally caught off guard on that one. 

That was a father's day.

The day after that, he was in his room after we had put him to bed.  He wasn't particularly tired but it was bedtime and it was time for his mom and dad to catch up on the week.  We tag-team on him so doesn't go to a sitter so there are nights when we have hours worth of things to talk about.  We could hear him talking to himself in his room but weren't paying particular attention to him.  Then he sang the ABC song just for fun and did a pretty good job at it.  From the living room, I called down the hall and told him he had done a great job.  So he sang it again.  I just listened from the living room smiling. 

That was a father's day.

A couple of days ago, I called my wife from work.  We were talking and I could hear Trey just jabbering on in the background.  He was telling some kind of happy story.  He wasn't telling it to me or my wife and I have no idea what the story was about.  It didn't matter.  If you aren't a parent, I can't explain what it sounds like when you can hear absolute joy in your child's voice.  If you are a parent, I don't have to explain it.  I talked to my wife, all the time smiling from Trey's story in the background. 

That was a father's day.

The day after that, I came home from work early because I wasn't feeling well.  It was early for me but after bedtime for Trey.  Tia was sitting on the couch reading one of her college books when I came in.  I heard his feet hit the ground before I had even shut the door and Trey came running down the hall with a big smile.  I picked him as he arrived and we hugged.  I put him back down and he ran down the hall and got back in bed. 

That was a father's day.

I came home from work this morning around 3am.  I have a routine when I get home and part of that is checking on him to make sure he's okay and covered.  He wasn't in his bed.  I went into my room and there he was sleeping on my pillow.  I kissed my wife and let her know that I was home.  I went around to the other side of the bed and scooped Trey up and started carrying him to his room. 

I kissed his forehead and whispered, "I love you." 

He whispered back, "I love you too." 

That's Father's Day.

Tada! Captions are complete.

I have completed the captions for the photos and loaded the current photo album in the upper right side bar.  The previous album has been moved to the bottom of the right side bar.

There were lots of pictures taken that day, not just by me.  It should be a rule that everyone in a group activity should create online phot albums.  Doncha think?

For those of you that would like to accumulate some easy Sword Points, check out today's post at the Success Warrior Blog.

Everyone else, enjoy the pictures!

The Ghost of the Bayou

It was dark in the bayou and my camera doesn't have a flash but I think you can see the ghost.  Here's the official blurb:

"From May 5th through the end of September, Utah’s Hogle Zoo is home to a rare white alligator from New Orleans. This alligator isn’t albino; he’s leucistic, and purely white in color with dazzling blue eyes. Eastern mythology says these creatures are symbols of extremely good luck. Legend has it that anyone gazing into the blue eyes of the rare white alligator will be blessed with good luck for the coming year, and prosperity will surely follow. There are only ten of these white gators in the entire world, so don’t miss your chance to see this amazing wonder of nature!"

I didn't know about the good luck thing but I did look at his eyes.  He just didn't look real and he wasn't moving so I was watching his eyes.  He blinked or the animatronics program had him blink.  Anyway, the thing blinked.  Slowly.  He has white eye lids too. 

Ty, the conservationist of our group, said, "That would make a cool pair of boots."

The blurb says that the Ghost is pure white but he actually has a bit of green tint to him.  He's white though and just looks really odd.  I'll bet he has a hard time getting people to believe that he's just another log in the river.

"Look G, yer a nice guy and all," the other gators in Louisiana probably said.  "But, looky here, you gotta go hunt somewherez else man.  You just ain't right and even a blind redneck can see you ain't no log.  We're gittin' hungry so you gots to leave.  Nothing personal."

"Fine, I'll got to Utah," the Ghost replied.  "There's lots of white folk in Utah."

So the Ghost of the Bayou moved on out to Utah for the summer and we got to see him. 

You can't see it in this picture but just to the left is his trailer and a car up on blocks.  The still is a little further to the left but it's there.  I heard that ain't no one can make shine like the Ghost of the Bayou.

***

I have the pictures from the zoo uploaded finally and maybe I can zip out some captions and put the photo album up tomorrow.

A Helpful Husband Is A Good Husband

  We took water, cookies, and brownies to the zoo with us in our cooler.  We bought a 24 pack of Dasani water at the grocery store for a couple of bucks on sale to share with everyone.  Last time we were at the zoo, that amount would buy one bottle of water.  It's like going to a movie theater except we didn't have to sneak the cooler in by stuffing into my wife's purse.

We put the cooler in Trey's Jeep stroller and wheeled it in.  We paid for everyone and headed for the place that my wife had picked for lunch.  It was as far away from the entrance as you could go and still be in the zoo.  I think we were actually starting to get close to the San Diego zoo when we got there.

Not that it really mattered since we would have walked all the way down there if we were looking at animals.  Now we would just look at them on our way back. 

I Want Another Birthday

After the day we had yesterday, you couldn't blame Trey for asking for another birthday.  We got up and had a breakfast of French toast as a family.  Yes, I said, as a family.  Breakfast.  Us.  That's a great way to start the day.  He loves it when he gets both his parents at the same time.  We tag-team on him so that he doesn't get raised by the babysitter but that has its own price.  Nothing is free but we felt this was the way to go.

We went to the zoo where we had lunch and brownies with some of his friends.  We chose brownies since he doesn't like frosting.  It seemed like a good cake substitute and resilient to summer weather as well.  The brownies were a hit.

We walked around and looked at every animal they had.  It's a small zoo but we were tired when we got done.

Trey had gone the whole day without a nap.  As soon as he got in the car, it was over.  Briefly.

We drove downtown to meet with Ninja and his wife and daughter for dinner.  We hadn't seen them in a while and may not see them for another while.  He's the one that is going to do the illustrations for my book.  He's slammed with college right now so it might take him a while.

We parked away from where we were going to eat because we had promised Trey another train ride and what better way to celebrate his birthday then with a train ride.

I had my camera with me this time.  This smile explains more about what he thinks about train rides than I can explain with words.

I haven't created the new photo album yet.  I'll try to have that up tomorrow with captions.  I took about 100 pictures.  I don't know how many I'll put up but don't expect the captions to be all that witty as I hurry to get them where people can see them.  Feel free to offer suggestions for captions.   

We're Off To The Zoo

Not this zoo but it is a good picture.  Trey has invited a bunch of friends out to celebrate his birthday and we're headed for the zoo.

He's pinging off the walls right now and so this is going to be a very short entry this morning. 

I'll create a new photo album with the pictures that I take today.

I hope everyone had a great weekend.  Being in the casino business our weekends come when everyone else's ends.  =)

Meet my daughter and her daughter

They were over for the barbeque we had the other day for Trey's birthday.  They are going to be moving to PA at the end of the month where my daughter will be going to college.  She has a scholarship for Penn State.

Side note: I've been working on a post for the results of the Myers-Briggs test that I took.  It discusses my expectations for others when it comes to intelligence and knowledge.

An extra side note: It also says that I'm the type of person that can't go from start to finish in a straight line.  I'm the type of person that has to interject side notes into everything.  Maybe it's right, maybe not.  Back to the post (until the next side note).

I have to say that it's weird that I'm a grandpa which is why the title of the post is the way it is.  Here she is grabbing *grandpa's* foot.  That's just so wrong.  A lot of people don't believe me when they find out that I have a 19 year old daughter.  One coworker thought for sure that I was putting her on so she went around and got a second and third opinion. 

This cute little girl is named Bella.  Trey calls her Belly Button.  It's cute so my wife and I call her Belly Button too.  She might not appreciate it when she's a teenager but I'm going to get a kick out of it.

   "Look how happy you were when we started calling you that," I'll say.

"Fine Grandpa," she'll say as revenge.

Maybe we can come to some sort of agreement and call each other, "Hey you."

Happy Birthday to Trey

He's pretty good with his letters, don't you think? 

The funny thing is that we forgot that he doesn't like cake.  That's not completely true.  He's okay with cake.  He doesn't like frosting.  He's having a party at the zoo next week with his friends so we'll probably do something like brownies as the treat.  He likes brownies - as long as they aren't frosted.

Yesterday was a party with my parents and my oldest daughter.  I don't know if it qualifies as a party but we had some good fun.  I cooked up some steaks on the grill and we did barbeque beans.  Trey likes steak.  Everyone loved the beans.  I didn't tell them my secret but I'll whisper it to you (roll that beautiful baked bean footage). 

Trey laughed and yelled and skipped around the whole night and just made everyone's day.  He loved all the presents that he got, moving from one to the next to the next.

Trey, my dad, and I were out on the back patio when I was cooking up the steaks.  Trey was playing with a basketball with my dad. 

"Shoop it," Trey would say. 

My dad watched him a bit and said, "It won't be long before you need a hoop."

"That's going to happen in about 45 minutes," I said.

Here's Trey out playing on his new hoop this morning.

I'm sure I'll have more to add but I have quite a bit to do today.  I did create a photo album in the right sidebar with pictures from yesterday and this morning.  I'm going to add some captions to them because that will be a better format than putting them in this post.

Warning: Trey is 3 Now!

I am issuing this warning because Trey just turned 3.  Yes, I need to be warned as well because each day he gains more ability in getting into things that he shouldn't. 

This warning is for you though because we'll be having a family birthday party tonight and a party at the zoo next week with his friends.

What this means is that in the near future, this blog may potentially have several pictures of him or of elephants or a combination of him and elephants.

Consider yourself warned.

My brother absolutely made Trey's day yesterday

I don't have any pictures from yesterday because I didn't think I would need my camera.  He's a before and after shot of my yard with the usual suspect as the subject of the photo.  It's amazing what a couple of months can do.

Yesterday we went in to Salt Lake City to see a play.  We met my brothers a little bit north of Salt Lake for dinner.  We had a good visit and Trey got to be with his cousins.  Mark has 3 boys (and a baby girl) with the youngest one about a year older than Trey.  Cory has a son that's the same age as Trey.  It's great for Trey to be around the cousins.

Cory's wife just about made me choke on a piece of Szechuan shrimp.  She has a biting sense of humor that just cracks me up.  On the way home, Tia and I both were wishing that we lived closer to civilization.  We don't get to see my brothers very often.  The last time we saw Cory and Risa was on Christmas.  I've got to see if I can accelerate our financial plan somehow so we can move.

When we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, Mark asked if we were going to try to park downtown.  I shrugged.  Probably.  He asked if we would want to park a little bit away from the theater and ride the train in (light rail).  He pointed at Trey who was playing with the other boys.  That sounded like a good plan.  Trey loves trains but he has never been on one. 

From Ahchoo to shoes to cheese and juice

My son has started copying everything we say which reminded me of this story that took place about a year ago.

Several months ago, I came home from work and my wife said, “Watch this!”  She proceeded to fake a sneeze, which my son echoed back.

            “I taught him how to pretend to sneeze,” she said.

            Usually, I’m pretty quick with a response but this one left me a little off guard.  A couple of thoughts ran through my head and I couldn’t figure out which was the best to vocalize.  My first thought was, “Great,” said with all my practiced sarcasm.

            Sidenote: In our marital fight rules, the use of sarcasm by me has been banned because of my so-called aptitude in said skill.  This has resulted in many “Don’t you have anything to say?” comments from my wife because many times, without sarcasm, I’m left speechless.  However this was not a fight and sarcasm would be allowed.  Still, I thought, it may not be the best response.

            My next thought, still with a hint of sarcasm, was: what a wonderfully useless skill to teach our 18 month old son.  Unless of course he goes into acting and manages to get a part in a cold medicine commercial.  In which case, I will have to say, at that time, how profoundly intuitive the training was and, depending on the size of the check, how thankful I am that my son knew how to fake sneeze at such a young age.

            What if that leads to something bigger?  I can just see my son at the podium, naked gold man in hand.  “I’d like to thank God, MTV, the academy, and all my fans for making this possible.  Most of all, I would like to thank my mother for teaching me to fake sneeze when I was a toddler.  Without her, none of this would have been possible.  Thank you all and God bless.”

            Screaming applause as he holds the statue overhead.

            A week after learning the under-appreciated art of faking a sneeze, an odd thing has occurred.  My son, up this point, had for the most part boycotted the English language.  Other than the dog’s name, “Tek”, and the ever-so-useful, “Uh-oh”, he spoke only in baby talk which somehow resembled Klingon to the point that I’m not really positive that he wasn’t speaking via communicator to some bird-of-prey orbiting our planet, cloaked.  This also made me wonder more about the ridges on his forehead and the possibility that maybe I’m not the biological father.  I love him all the same.

            Anyway, it’s a week later and my son has suddenly added two more words to his vocabulary.  “Ouch” and “shoes” are now being said on a regular basis. Very interesting.  Ouch-shoe.  My boy can talk.

            Another week goes by and my son can say the word “cheese.”  A very handy word for him because cheese happens to be one of his favorite snacks.  Now instead of saying, “Mmm, mmm” which means, “I want something and it’s up to you to guess what it is,” he can ask for the food by name.  We aren’t quite at, “Father, would you be so kind as to go to the refrigerator, fetch some cheese, and cut off a good chunk for me please?” but we are a good step above caveman.  With this word he is now able to pose for pictures which is a step toward his Oscar nomination.

            Not long after this and he is able to say “juice.”  When he gets thirsty after eating his cheese, he can ask for some juice to wash it down.  “Juice” for the moment happens to be any liquid that he drinks but that’s perfectly fine for now.  It’s a word.  It’s a word that he can say that has meaning to him.  Cheese and juice.  Excellent.

            Hmmm.  This all makes me think.  Not about apologizing to my wife for all those thoughts about the uselessness of teaching a fake sneeze or any of the words that accidentally slipped out of my mouth along those lines.  I am a man after all.  No, what I was thinking about was the concept of going from a sound to a word to more words.

            So we’re driving back from Salt Lake City one day and I decide to implement my own plan about 40 miles out.  I go about teaching my son how to fake the sound of hocking a loogie.  My son again showed himself to be a quick learner when it comes to making sounds and had this new trick down in no time at all.  His quick learning ability was lost on my wife at the moment who couldn’t believe that I had taught him this great skill.  She also was less-than-pleased that we kept on practicing it for so many miles.  I would make the sound, she would tell me to stop, and my son would make the sound.  I would laugh and, of course, make the sound.  She would tell me to stop...

            Nearing home, I told my wife that her teaching our son how to fake a sneeze resulted almost immediately in two words being added to his vocabulary.  This, in a child that refused to speak because learning a language might take away from time better spent learning to climb.  Further, those words had lead to even more words.  Teaching by going from fun sound to new words to even more similar sounding words might just be the trick for teaching our son.

            “This new game could produce a new word or two,” I said.

            “Yeah, for all those words that start with the sound xkckxxk thploooooh,” she replied. 

            The last few miles mixed my gasps of tearful laughter with my son's surprisingly authentic loogie sounds, while my wife rolled her eyes at both of us.

Family Dinner

Growing up, we had a tradition.  When my dad wasn't out on some aircraft carrier, we would meet for dinner every night as a family.  Everyone was expected to be there.  If friends were over at the house, they could go home but they were also invited to stay if they wanted.  Extra people was allowable, missing people was not.  It's a tradition that I have continued with my family when my shifts aren't interfering.

There were three other significant factors in the tradition.

First, there was no TV in the dining area.  Eating around the TV was a completely foreign concept to me.  I didn't think that people really did that but they did and still do.  People who do that are missing out on something that will have a lasting effect on their children. 

Second, we often had the word of the day.  My dad would tell us a word that we had never heard, give us a definition, and use it in a sentence.  The next day, if he remembered, he would ask us what the word was yesterday.  I didn't truly appreciate it back then (I didn't dread it by any means) but now that I write every day, words are extremely important to me.

Third was the movie quotes.  Somehow this tradition started and it continues on today at the family parties.  It didn't happen every night but it happened several times a week.  Someone would reply to a comment with a comment and that would lead to another quote and to another.  It has become a code language for our family.  There was always laughter at these quote meals but my youngest brother, Apple Core, has the record for making people laugh the hardest.

He was about 5 years old at the time and didn't take part much in the movie quote game.  We were going around the table, everyone spouting off quotes from different movies when my brother broke in with, "Hey, what is this shit?"

The timing, his age, the fact that no one in my family said that word, it all caught us by surprise and we busted out laughing . . . hard.  We were laughing hard enough that he ended up crying.  My dad was trying to comfort him but no one could stop laughing.  I ended up leaving the room because I could not stop laughing.

For the curious, it's a line from E.T.

It's one of those memories that will be with me forever, not only because it's so memorable but because it's brought up every now and then at family parties.

For example, it would be a great line if someone put a bowl of extra strength garlic soup down in front of you.

Being the guinea pig

CV Rick posted his experiences about his parents and food which made me think of a couple of experiences that I had when I was growing up.  Like Rick's mom, my mom tends toward easily prepared basics.  Unlike Rick's dad, my dad can cook.  He has more cookbooks than I have books.  He reads food magazines and tries out the recipes that he comes across in them.

And sometimes he creates his own bits of masterpiece.

When we lived in San Diego, he was trying to win some recipe contest.  I don't know the details of the contest or how it turned out.  All I know is what my dad was making.  It was a sausage and vegetable concoction in barbeque sauce put into pita bread.  Quite frankly, it was quite tasty . . . the first day.

Let me interupt here by saying that although I can cook and do quite often for my family, I don't necessarily enjoy it.  I tend toward stuff that I can whip up pretty quickly and get onto the table.  One of the reasons I am this way (besides time better spent on things other than cooking) is that I never trained myself to discern different flavors.  Subtle nuances are completely wasted on me. 

"Do you taste the hint of sage in the cream sauce?  It really brings out the flavor of the chicken."

"Uhhh, no.  What does sage taste like?  And I thought this was pork."

So, the difference between Monday's recipe and Tuesday's recipe was lost on me.  Wednesday's was pretty much the same.  Thursday's stood out because I don't know what my dad did but not even the basset hound would touch that stuff.  Learning from his mistake though, Friday's and Saturday's were back up to par but even after 30 years, I remember Monday's as being the best because let's face it, after 6 days of barbequed sausage, Top Ramen sans flavor packet would be a nice change.

My siblings were all probably too young to remember that episode but there is one that has become a hallmark in my family.

We were living in London at the time and sitting down to family dinner which we did whenever my dad wasn't out to sea.  This is one of the greatest traditions we