Chronicles: Alan B. Rowley II - Success Warrior - ECoach - P90X

Me-Me Monday: Old & New and Tracy Lawrence and Chris Isaak

Today's meme is from Friday5 again.

1. What makes you feel old?

Sleep.  The desire to sleep.  Especially when that desire over-rides the desire for sex.  I think that's a definite sign that I'm getting old.  10 years ago, there is no way that I would have told a totally hot well-endowed nekkid blond that I was too tired.  Now, it's mumbled as I fall unconscious while my head sinks into the pillow.  That's old.

2. What makes you feel young?

Just about everything else.

Rolling Thomas the Train back and forth on the floor in JC Penney's lingerie section.  Watching Spongebob with Trey.  Running faster and lifting more than people half my age.  Feeling like I have a bright future full of endless possibilities.

3. What was better when you were allowed to do it the old way?

Nothing really. 

I did like it when my friends lived close to me.  I have friends scattered across the country and thanks to the miracle of the Internet, I'm able to keep in constant contact with them. 

4. What's better now that you do it the new way?

News via the Internet.  I'll never get news from the TV ever again.  Never.  Ever.

UnderArmour.  Love it.  Much better than the old t-shirt.

5. What's something you are old school about?

Opening the car door for my wife.  Opening doors for women, kids, and the elderly.  Saying "thank you".  Talking face to face instead of by phone or through a drive-thru.  Personal responsibility.

Lots of things that have gone out of style. 

I don't think all the blame can be put on people for these things going out of style.  There has been a movement to enslave everyone so people feel more rushed, less helpful, less community.  One person used to be able to bring in enough money to raise a family.  Now it takes two people working a couple jobs plus picking up overtime where they can if they want anything extra.

I don't believe this is in any way an accident but I'm not going to go into it now.

Sinbad

Sinbad performed last weekend, without sitting on my lap which I'm happy about.

He was funny too.

He did a lot of audience participation which I don't enjoy but he did a good job of it.  He did a lot of explaining the habits of men for the women of the audience.  Women could ask him questions and he would explain things for them.

"Why do men golf so much?"

"To get away from you."

Golf started out only having a couple of holes but it got longer to increase the amount of time men could be out.

He also explains how to put an end to the habit.

"Go with him.  It takes away the reason for going."

"Why don't men put the toilet seat down?" was a question.

"Why don't women put the toilet seat up?" was the answer.  The logic being that the person going should be responsible for adjusting the seat to where they need.  It's hard to guess who will need the toilet next so instead of guessing, each person should learn how to operate the seat function.  He said it's a fairly simple skill to learn and even demonstrated how the seat works for the women in the audience.

Outside of the show, Sinbad was a very nice guy.  He shook hands with people and visited with them briefly when he was going into the hotel.

This week is Wayne Newton and Lewis Black.

Tony Orlando, No Dawn, John Mayall, and Dave Mason

He started right off with Tie a Yellow Ribbon and moved into Knock Three Times and then went off and did all kinds of music.  Willie Nelson, George Straight, Led Zepellin, and Black Sabbath.

I also got to see the woman that does the Meow Mix meowing.  I should have gotten her autograph.  Maybe they'll come back.

The next night was John Mayall and Dave Mason.  I had never heard of either of them.

John Mayall is a father of British Blues or some such title.  Sir John Mayall, I believe.  As the father of British Blues, he's been knighted.  Many people don't know this but the reason the holy war was a complete disaster was the lack of harmonica soloists.  To make sure this doesn't happen again, Mayall was knighted.

The concert didn't sell very well and I actually sat out in the audience and watched the show.  Very enjoyable.

I ended up helping kick a drunk out at half time.  I wasn't planning on doing much of anything except watching the shows but anytime their is a disturbance in the force, they call me in to make sure things go smoothly.  And it did.

I had never heard of Dave Mason either but I had heard this song before.  Probably while cruising around in the back of the family station wagon.

Up close and personal with Rick Springfield

Rick Springfield was back for another concert over the weekend.  He puts on a great concert.  Lots of music, high energy, audience participation, and it looks like he's just having a great time.

I can kind of pick and choose which concerts I do security for.  Rick put on a great concert last time so I was planning on going.

I don't get to pick not to do security for the concerts that have a high probability for being a little rambunctious.  That means that I would have been going anyway.  I'm the guy that gets called to make sure drunks comply with instructions and also the guy that drags people off the stage.

I sit very close to the stage area where I can see everyone in the audience and where I can quickly grab anyone that jumps up on stage.  Where I sit is kind of dark and has blank curtains behind me.  I usually dress in dark clothes where I can just blend in and watch the action from the shadows.

Everything was going according to plan while Rick was doing a little group participation in singing, "Don't Talk to Strangers."  Then the plan changed.

Howie Mandel and Night Ranger (and Boobs)

Last weekend, I did security for Howie Mandel and Night Ranger (hence the title of this post). 

Things were a bit calmer at the Howie show than Carlos Mencia.  In fact, other than the woman 3 seats away from me fondling her breasts while her boyfriend went down on her, the crowd was well behaved.  She obviously liked her boobs touched because even when her boyfriend went to pee or umm, take care of other things caused by watching your girlfriend fondle her breasts or what ever he did while he was gone, she was still fondling her boobs.  Is it Howie's bald head?  I don't know.  I should have asked. 

"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you've been fondling your breasts for 30 minutes.  May I ask what it is that's got your engine going?  I'd like to see if I can bottle and sell it and make a fortune."

Here's a bit that Howie Mandel did at the show.  If you watch it and fondle your breasts, it'll be just like you were there.

Women, did Bobby's voice make you hot?  Clue me in.  Would 3 or 4 daiquiris help?  I really should have asked her.

Clay Walker and Carlos Mencia

Last weekend I saw (and heard, I should point out) Clay Walker and Carlos Mencia and Carlos Mencia (he did two shows).

Clay, I apologize if you're reading this but there are few musical genres that I like less than Country music.  One of those that I do happen to like less than Country music is Country Chick music.  To his credit, he did pick up the pace around the fifth song.  Very lucky for me.  I had the belt around my neck and strapped to the balcony railing and was just stepping over to end it all when the drummer kicked in, jolting me out of the depressive-hypnosis I was under.  From there, he switched back and forth so that none of the guys in the audience overdosed on chick music.

Normally, I'm not one of those guys that takes a drink of Sprite with no syrup in it, winces back yelping, "This tastes nasty!" then hands the glass to the next person and says, "Here tries this."  I just don't feel the need to do that.  I don't need a second opinion on pop with out syrup or carbonation and I don't like to make people suffer just because I did.  In the case of Country Chick music though, I have to say, "This sounds nasty.  Listen to this."

Read on though and let me share the silver lining.

Bill Engvall does what I can't

Bill Engvall visited our concert hall again.  I didn't do security for it but I went down to watch him for a bit.  He was here probably about 6 months ago.  The first 15 minutes of his routine (routine - we'll come back to this) was different than the last show.  I didn't think it was very funny.  It was about a colonoscopy because he turned 50 this year.  I don't know if I just wasn't in the mood or if he didn't add anything new to the previous colonoscopy jokes that I have heard but I just didn't laugh much.

After that, he went into the same routine (there's that word again) that he did the last time that he was here.  I watched a little bit of it and then I left.  As I was walking past one of my security officers, I said the punchline to the next joke.

After high school, Rick and Bryce tried to get me to go into stand-up.

Showtime: Rodney Carrington

If you're patriotic, show me your boobies.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Not so that I can see some boobies.  I don't need to travel around the country singing and telling jokes to do that.

But what a great way to make money, don't you think?  As long as you can get a few women in the crowd, you know you're going to sell the place out.  There are so many guys desperate for even a glimpse of booby that they will pay Rodney Carrington to ask women to show their breasts.

We were told before the show that he would be making that request and that would let any flashing slide unless things started to get out of hand.

After the song and all the breasts were tucked back where they belong, guys in the audience started yelling for Rodney to sing the song again.

Sorry but you'll have to buy a ticket to tomorrow's show.

The man's a financial genius and he was funny too.  It was raunchy so if you don't like the "F" word and lots of jokes about sex, this is not the show for you.  If those kinds of jokes appeal to you and you want to see woman showing their breasts, you might just want to take this one in.

Showtime: Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent made it very clear that he's a firm believer in killing things.  Animals, people, bad guy, guitars, what ever.  If you can shoot a a gun or a bow at it, then go for it.  He had plenty of firearms up on stage and a red/white/blue bow that he used to shoot a flaming arrow into a guitar.

He offered free machine guns to any "pussy" in the audience, meaning women, not wimps. 

It was the most that I have ever heard the word "poontang" in a 2-hour block.

I was the big winner again with all the drunks that thinking that rock and roll means that there are no rules being on my side.  My guys were busy trying to keep people dressed and near their seats and off the banisters.  Our Concert Hall isn't a typical free for all that I guess these people are used to.  It's a Concert Hall with assigned seating and where we follow the fire codes and where everything we do or don't do is on surveillance.

Ted thinks our soldiers are doing a great job of killing the bad guys and that they should just keep on blowing things up.  He loves watching our soldiers blow bad guys up.

I couldn't help but wonder how much of it was for publicity.  I was told that Ted has continued to be famous not because of his music but because he's a hunter and a gun advocate.  Maybe he really is an uber-redneck but part of me thinks that it's all part of the act.

I'll leave you with this piece of culinary advice from Ted:

You can't grill it untill you kill it.

Showtime: Grand Funk Railroad and The Guess Who

Never assume.

Grand Funk Railroad and The Guess Who played here on Friday night.  We figured it was going to be fairly low key.  People in their 50s would probably behave themselves, right?  We aren't talking about 21 year old women trying to consume all the daiquiris in town (who still hold the belt for being the most trouble at concerts). 

Last week, we were warned that Lynyrd Skynyrd fans like to drink.  If Skynyrd fans want to learn about drinking, they should hang out with Grand Funk and Guess Who fans.

Interestingly enough, once they left the concert, everything was quiet in the casinos.  A lot of times, the drunks leave the concert and go to the casinos to get more drunk and then I get to meet them in their best form.

By the time the Guess Who stopped signing autographs, it was 12:30 am.  Maybe that's past bedtime for the fans.  I saw one of the biggest groups of drunks come into the casino and they were headed straight for their room.  I was thankful for that because they were hammered at the concert. 

Showtime: The Pointer Sisters and Lynyrd Skynyrd

Friday night, the Pointer Sisters played in our concert hall.  I didn't go to the show.  I helped them to their room when they arrived and then again after the concert.  No one caused any problems.  People usually don't. 

The ones that recognize the stars have always been very respectful.  I haven't seen anyone ask for an autograph yet outside of the concert hall. 

I usually only go to one of the shows a week.  The one I go to is determined by which one is most likely to have problems (hmmm, Lynyrd Skynyrd vs. the Pointer Sisters, let me think) or if both seem unlikely to have problems, the one that has sold the most tickets (Skynyrd this week - which made the score 2 to 0 for getting my attention).

I used to go to all the shows but the general manager of the casino I work for asked me to cut back.  He's not my boss but I try to keep him happy because we have to work together a lot and quite frankly, one concert a week is plenty.

Showtime: Willie Nelson, Ron White, Joe Diffie, Aaron Tippin, Mark Chesnutt

Well, I'm sick today.  Dang sick.  Sick enough that I considered just staying in bed and not even writing a post for the blog today.  I don't know how many days in a row that I have posted but I didn't want to break the chain now when it just means sitting here and letting you all know about my week.  Just don't expect anything witty.  Be happy with coherent with as much cold medicine as I have taken.

I'm also hoping that you see a picture of Willie to the left and that all the little green martians running around the blog are a figment of my imagination.  Not that I have anything against martians, even little green ones.  I don't have anything against them being on my blog.  But what does that have to do with country music?  That's the only reason that I question it.

It really shouldn't come as a surprise that I'm sick after breathing in the fumes of 4 hours of cigar chainsmoking, breathing in the fumes from a different brand of "cigarette", and listening to hours and endless hours of country music and jokes about having sex with dogs and bears.

Once again, let me say that I have nothing against jokes about having sex with dogs or bears or martians.  But what does that have to do with country music?  No, that's not right.

Actually, the jokes about Sluggo weren't as funny as the rest of the stuff.  Driving a herd of Scotties?  I thought that was funny but it was kind of passed over.

Here's a word of advice for you.  If you are ever going to see Ron White and he's doing two shows in a night, go to the first one.  It's the funnier one.  By the time the second one rolls around, happy hour is in full swing and he starts forgetting his lines.  At least he did this time.

Showtime - Bobby Goldsboro and Three Dog Night

It was a weekend of songs that I barely remember.  I had heard a couple of Bobby's songs before and it was good to hear them again because they brought back memories from my childhood.

We had a huge stationwagon when I was a kid.  I remember when we lived in Oakland and we would ride around in the back and slide around from side to side.  No one used seatbelts back then.  I remember hearing the Beatles on the radio, the radio with the big black buttons that physically moved the dial.  You could push down slowly on the far right button and move the dial slowly across the radio.  A 1970's scan function. 

I didn't hear as much Three Dog Night.  Most of what I heard of them was from compilation records that would include songs like "One."

Showtime: Clint Black and Air Supply

There is a follow up post to the cats and blinds post called The Pros and Cons of Voyeuristic Sex Contests.  That post will likely be released on Wednesday.  Today is the Showtime post where I talk about the acts that played this weekend.  Monday is the meme and Tuesday is Ask-a-Cop.  Anyone know the number for the guy that invented blogs?  I'd like to call him and see if I can get my soul back.

My blog has been rated as PG because apparently, I have used the word "hell" twice and the word "pain" once.  And you thought Jerry Falwell was strict?  I checked on the rating for the Success Warrior Blog just out of curiosity.  It was rated PG also because supposedly I have used the word "penis" twice and the word "viagra" once. 

First, I'm not so sure that I really did.  Second, it seems odd that those words were used in the financial blog and not in the humor blog.  In fact, "hell" and "pain" are more likely to be used over there.  Maybe the program has mixed the two up.  Of course, at this point, I have mentioned all four words even more times and so some of you may want to turn the monitor away from easy view of your children.

Read on if you dare.  This PG stuff can get pretty risque.

Last Night I Heard A Restless Hawk From Texas

You know how much I love country music so you can imagine what I was looking forward to last night when we had a "Triple Threat" concert featuring three different country bands.  Each of them played for about an hour and they had to change the stage between them so I was there for about 5 hours.  Yeehaw!

To start things out, Trey and I have been sick the last few days.  A cold or flu or some virus attacked both of us.  This is no surprise since we share so many germs.  He drinks my drinks and ends up "sharing" my food.  He calls it sharing.  I'll get something out for me and he says, "I'll share with you."  How nice of him.  One of us ended up sharing a virus.

Before work all day, I was taking a decongestant to try and drain my head.  It hurt my eyes to blow my nose.  I felt likethat wolf cartoon character that has his eyes pop out when he sees the pretty girl.  Only mine was triggered by something not quite so nice. 

Before I went to work, I tried to change up the program and took some Benadryl.

Here's an interesting sidenote for you that might save you money at a C-Store.  The gift store in the casino sells Sominex cheaper than it sells Benadryl.  They have exactly the same active ingredients so that must mean that pink dye is more expensive than blue dye.  Some grocery stores are the other way around and sell Benadryl cheaper than sleeping medicine.  Again, it's the same stuff so buy whichever is cheaper and use them for either sleeping or stopping watery, itching eyes.

But don't use them before you go listen to country music.  I haven't checked with the Surgeon General on this so you'll just have to accept my warning.

Blogging Is A Battlefield: Pat Benatar

I admit that I was nervous.  Not about meeting Pat Benatar but about her performance.  Pat was very kind.  She was quiet but polite.  Neil Giraldo was very friendly and outgoing.  He visited with fans before the show and joked with them. 

Some of entertainers that come through here have either completely changed their style, lost the enjoyment of entertaining, or just can't perform like they used to.  They come in and ruin the memory you had of their music.  Some have forgotten the words to their songs and use cheat sheets or teleprompters to get them through the concert.

I really enjoy Benatar's songs and was worried that something would be drastically different.

Luckily for me (and her, I suppose), she was better live than recorded.

Hell Is For Children was so much stronger live than recorded.  Neil played several different instruments and played them all well. 

You can add Benatar to the list of entertainers that really enjoy what she's doing.  They started playing in 1978 and they sound great.  They should after 30 years of practice.

One thing that she did that the crowd enjoyed was stick mostly to songs that had made her famous.  I've seen a couple of entertainers do little of their top 40 stuff and the audience has been disappointed.  So far, it has happened to the 80's entertainers that veered away from what the 80's crowd remembers.  Those people came to relive the music, thoughts, and feelings that they had 30 years ago.  I'm sure that it gets boring for the entertainers but that's what the people want to hear. 

If you like Benatar's 80's music, I highly recommend you go see her.  You won't be disappointed.

I Don't Venture Into the World of Politics Much but . . .

Nearly every entertainer that comes through here does some little blurb about our soldiers and the crowd cheers.  Some of them have songs that are dedicated to the soldiers.  Some have songs about soldiers.  All this is fine and if you like hearing applause, it's an easy trigger.

I recently had a friend ship out to Mississippi where he'll be training for a couple of months before he goes over to fight in the war.  There was a band there playing patriotic music.  Wives and kids were crying.  Lots of pictures were being taken.  A couple of TV stations were there doing reports, interviewing soldiers and family.

Most of the entertainers take the political safe road and say that no matter your stance on the war, we need to pray for the safe return of our soldiers.  I can go with that.

Others thank the soldiers for defending our country.  These are the ones that leave me thinking, "defend us from what?"  My friend is heading over to a mess and may not come back and in what way is he making me safer?  I'd rather have him here where he could be called up if my country were actually attacked.

I've been around now for 4 decades and I don't remember ever feeling like I was in danger of invastion.  If someone does get stupid and decide to parachute their invaders into our desert and try to take over this country, I'd like my friend and all the other soldiers here, near me, actually protecting me.

Now, I realize that I sound very selfish when I say that but unfortunately I don't any stock in the companies that are making money off of this war. 

Will my friend come back alive? 

I hope so.

If he doesn't, will he be a hero who died defending the people of his country? 

Sadly, no.

We're going to the zoo Tuesday but I saw Animals last night

Eric Burdon and the Animals played in concert last night.

I haven't been doing security for the concerts as much as I used to, which has it's own interesting story.  I did do security for the Animals and the night before I was down there for Tracy Lawrence.

I felt a little bad for about 15 seconds during the Tracy Lawrence concert.  I sit up right next to the stage where I can see the whole audience and I also grab people that jump up on stage.

I'm not into country and the crowd was pretty docile.  They were enjoying the concert but it didn't look or feel like there were going to be any problems.  So, I'm over on my chair, laying back a bit, feet stretched out and crossed.  Pretty much, I'm kickin' it waiting for the concert to be over.  I had never heard of the of the songs and none were pulling me in.  A couple of the country bands have surprised me and bit quite enjoyable.  No offense to Tracy but it just wasn't my kind of music.

so there I am, arms behind my head, just about laying down (at least as much as you can in a chair), watching the crowd in case someone does something surprising.  Tracy is singing and walks over to my side of the stage and is singing to the people in the VIP section where I sit.  I'm still trying to watch the crowd but I'm pretty much blind now because I'm in the spotlight.  There is a little two foot railing between the VIP section and the stage and Tracy's right there singing.

He decides to have a little fun with a woman whose boyfriend has left momentarily.  Mabye he went to get drinks, or to pee, or maybe he went out to the car to listen to the radio.  I don't know but his chair was empty.  Tracy stepped over the railing and I managed to pull my feet out of the way before he stepped on them. 

I'm sure he was wondering what the hell kind of security he had with me over there acting bored (well, I wasn't acting but you know what I mean). 

Oh well. 

When he went down into the crowd, it was a different story.  I go into high alert when the entertainers do that.  I stand and actively scan and get ready to jump the rail if I need to go out and rescue them from a crazed fan.  He didn't see that part though so he's left with the impression of security sleeping in the wings.  =)

Someone Watches Too Much Simpsons

The entertainers that come through here stay at the casino where I'm in charge of security.  I try to make sure that they are safe while they are here.  I find out where they are staying and I have surveillance keep a dedicated feed up on the hallway.

Most of the entertainers use aliases that their room is listed under.  You have to know the secret name in order to get through to them.  I get that alias just in case.  Just in case of what, I don't know.  I have the entertainer's manager's cell number and that's who I contact if I have something come up.

Anyway, most of the names are unique but non-descript.  You can't call up and ask for John Smith and end up connected to the entertainer's room.  A few months ago, we had one stay here that used a unique and memorable name as his alias.  I can't tell you the entertainer's name in case he uses this name in other places.

The room was listed under "Dick Click."

"Hello, I'm trying to find a Dick Click."

Kansas, 38 Special, and Cell Phones

I did security for Kansas and 38 Special last night.  Kansas played mostly songs that I had never heard before but it was music that I really enjoyed.  They played some of their top hits when they came out for their encore but I liked the stuff they played in the beginning better. 

I opened up Rhapsody this morning to get another dose and there is nothing there for Kansas except Dust In The Wind.  If you work for Rhapsody or know someone who does, tell them to fix this.  Ask them to send me an email when they have made the correction.  =)

The lead singer for 38 Special was up there having a great time.  I have said it before but I enjoy watching these guys that get up there and put everything they have into it and are still having fun.  He said they have been playing for 38 years.  That's great.  Some of the entertainers look like any time-clock-puncher when they get up there.  They are doing a job that they no longer enjoy and counting down the minutes to quitting time.  It's fun to watch the ones still get a kick out of what they are doing.

I sit up just off the stage and face the audience.  I get to watch the people which can be a fun thing to do.  People are great amusement.

It was funny to watch 50 year old people standing up to the stage acting like groupies.  Part of my job is hauling people off the stage when they get up there to dance with the band.  With some crowds, it's less of a worry than others.  Many of the people last night would need a boost up to get on the state.

There was one guy in his 20's that seemed to be very much into it and I thought he might get up there so that he could play his air-guitar for the crowd.  I'm not a music expert but this guy looked like he had been practicing air-guitar for a long time. 

Near the end of the show, a woman in a deep cut shirt and no bra moved up to who the band her appreciation.  By deep cut, I'm talking about right down to her belly button.  Gravity was well into winning the battle with her breasts.  When she really got rocking with the band, it looked like a bassett hound with his head sticking out the car window on the freeway.

What gets me at these things are the cell phones.

His Way is a pretty good way

Paul Anka put on a great show last Friday.  He's been singing for 50 years and he got out there and sang like he's still lovin' it.  He spent quite a bit of time out in the audience shaking hands and danced with a couple of ladies.  He told some jokes and did a tribute to Frank Sinatra and another to Sammy Davis.

Here are a couple of things I didn't know until Friday.  Paul wrote the lyrics for My Way for Frank Sinatra.  He also wrote She's A Lady for Tom Jones.  And he wrote the theme for the Johnny Carson show.

He said that all this turmoil in the church with the priests was making things a little bit different for him.  He said that when he goes in for confession, he sits down, and says, "You first."

He sang more songs than most of our entertainers do and came back on stage several times to sing "just one more".  Most of the acts that come through here have playlists showing what they will be performing that night.  Some even have the points where they will break to talk to the audience.  Paul didn't have a playlist which I thought was something considering the number of songs that he did.  He and his band knew which songs they were going to do.  It's probably a well rehearsed production but he bits of improv thrown in as well.  He would make up lyrics to songs when he was out in the audience to make them laugh.  It worked too.

It was quite the show.

Last Friday, I was a sharp dressed man wearing cheap sunglasses looking for some tush

I didn't get any tush but I did see boobies.  If you want to call them that.  Poor girl.  She worked her way to the middle right in front and lifted her shirt to show ZZ Top what she had.  I looked at her face to see if it was a girl.  After the show, I was talking to Mustang.

"Did you see the flasher?" I asked.

"The 13 year old boy," he said.

"That's the one," I said.

We also had a bit of pot smoking going on in the crowd toward the end of the concert.  They were sneaky about it.  Sneaky in a neon sign sort of way.  The intense smell and the smoke rising up through the spot lights did give them away a little bit. 

I didn't get to stick around after the concert to meet the band because I had some things going on at the casino.  It was a busy night of fights.  They went on all night.  It was a crazy night.  I didn't get out of there until 5am and they had another big fight about 5 mnutes later.  They didn't bother calling me or I could have turned around and gone back.  I had been up for about 24 hours though so I'm not disappointed that they didn't call me.

Donkey Kong in a Tonka Truck

I have been using my writing time to write stuff other than blogs (blasphemy, I know) so let me use today to update both my blogs.  Tomorrow, I'll most likely be back to writing but I'll try to get some blogging out as well.  I'll probaby have to break the cop stories into bite size pieces.

The husband of the lady that Mammoth and I did CPR on called a couple of days ago to say that his wife was doing good.  I wasn't in the office when he called but he left a message to thank us.  I passed the info on to Mammoth because it's nice to hear.  Not just that she lived and is doing good (that part is great) but just hearing.  Usually you send these people off to the hospital and that's the last you hear of it.  It's good to hear how things ended up.

Ronnie Milsap played out here on Friday night.  I had heard of him before but didn't know what songs he did.  When they announced that he has had 40 #1 songs, I was pretty sure that I would have heard something that he has done.  I was right.  I can't name them now because I have already forgotten.  Look it up on the internet if you are curious.  I can't do all the work for you. 

He had an impersonator with him that did a pretty darn good Jack Nicholson impression from A Few Good Men and then took the character back in time to play Eddie Haskel from Leave It To Beaver. 

He mentioned to the audience that Trace Adkins was going to be playing the following night.  Someone in the audience yelled, "You kick Trace's butt, Ronnie."  Ronnie said, "We'd have to turn out the lights to even the odds.  Trace is a big man."

  He wasn't kidding, either.  Trace Adkins is probably 6'7" or so.  Maybe more, maybe less.  It's hard to judge down where I'm at.  He said he doesn't work out much anymore but you can tell that he used to. 

Unlike Ronnie, I had never heard any of Trace's songs but he does have a cool ability.  He is able to cast a spell that makes women shake their butts.  I wonder if that's something that you can put on a resume.  The women absolutely love him and I had several tell me that Trace has a nice butt.  Enough of them told me, that if I'm ever asked, I'll be able to answer in confidence, "Why yes, Trace does have a nice butt."  Near the end of the show, he cast the spell on the women.  Instead of saying, "Abracadabra," he sings, "Honky Tonk, Badonkadonk."  Instantly, hips start gyrating.  Cool.

After the show, he went to his bus until most of the fans had left then he came back in to visit with our stage crew.  I see all types come through here.  Some of the entertainers won't have anything to do with anyone at all.  Others, like Trace, act like they are just normal people.

In other news, Rhiia Fael mentions something to me the other night.  I think she did it just to play with my mind.  It has worked.  V called me to stop by and work my magic.  I can't make women shake thier hips like Trace but I do have a way of putting people at ease and making them smile when things aren't going just right.  V calls me the White Mage which is a partial refence to a book called the Color Code.

I walk in, V and Rhiia say hi, and then without any introduction, segue, foreshadowing, or warning, Rhiia says, "Polyphasic sleep."  She may have cast a spell on me with those words.  I had never heard the term before so she explained it to me.  It's when you don't sleep at night and instead just take naps around the clock.  Interesting.  Interesting concept and interesting that she cast a spell on me.

I did some reading about it yesterday and the idea intrigues me.  I already sleep in two shifts per day.  I sleep for a few hours when I get home from work at night and then I have a nap when Trey has a nap.  Biphasic as they say.  I'm not so sure that I want to go around saying that I'm bi but there it is.  I am.

I haven't been able to get the idea out of my head and so tomorrow I'll probably do a longer post on the topic.  I better get my Success Warrior Blog updated before it's nap time.

He can have Jessie's girl

And John's girl.

And Eddie's girl.

And probably any of the girls that threw their bras and panties at him last night.

The drunk women were out in droves last night but that doesn't have anything to do with his music.  The women came out for Clay Walker because of the combination of cowboy look and girly music.  Rick doesn't play girly music.  He rocked.  No ballads.  No love songs.  Nothing that dared to slow down the intensity of what he was putting out there. 

And then he rocked some more.  From the minute he came out on stage until he left, he played music.  He didn't take any breaks to talk to the crowd or tell cute stories.  He played music and kept on playing.  He went 30 minutes longer than planned.  You could tell that he just loved being up there playing his guitars and singing.

He did venture into the crowd for a couple of songs, including "The Human Touch".  And touched, he was.  Mostly his ass and not all of it loving caresses.  He's probably got some bruises down under.  I threw that last bit in because I found out last night that he's from Australia.  Good news for you Aussies, he said he's going there to perform, which he hasn't done since becoming a solo artist.

I'm the guy that grabs people that decide to get on stage during the show.  I've only had to do it twice so far.  Both times were drunk women.  Once at the Chippendales show and the other got up to dance with Clay Walker.  When I saw the crowd come in, I figured it was going to be one of those nights.

And then, he goes out into the crowd.  That makes it really hard to offer any protection.  I don't know how often bad things happen since this whole concert thing is new to me but it makes me nervous because it would be just about impossible to get out there if anything went down.

After the show, one of Rick's people came up to me.

"You gotta love it when he goes out there, doncha?" he said.

"Yeah," I said, not rolling my eyes but he knew I was on the same page as he was.

"That's when you just have to say, 'Fuck it, you're on your own.'"

I laughed.